Talk about a crazy Halloween! First, we had a blizzard. Next, we lost power. Then everyone made fun of me for being afraid of every flickering candle in the house. I mean, a black out on Halloween weekend? That’s when people get murdered. Fact.
So now the power’s back on and we’re celebrating the scariest of all scary on DWTS. Tom Beregeron has promised me all kinds of ghouls and goblins. Just how did the dancers decide who would perform to Thriller and Monster Mash? Why is Tom dressed the same as always and Brooke looks like Cleopatra? And how will Rob deal with the recent KDash-Humphries divorce? Everything is scary tonight.
And now, “dead from Hollywood, it’s Dancing with the Stars!”
The scariest thing in my office right now. Aside from the amount of work I have to do today.
So I’m still recuperating from the weekend extravaganza that was Katie and Drew’s wedding, and if you’ve talked to me in the past few weeks, I probably told you what a fantastic time it was! Well, now I have the video to prove it. So here, for your viewing pleasure, the Poff-Wiechnicki slideshow, with music by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros and Mat Kearney. Enjoy!
Ok guys, I’m back! After a week full of sinus infections, cold medicine, tissues and doctor’s appointments, I’m once again my old self, ready and willing to recap for you all the highlights of this most fantastic television show. But one more week of Chaz and I might just throw in the towel. I’m sorry, but he’s just not good.
So since it’s Broadway night, the DWTS opening act is from Sister Act, and I feel compelled to tell you about the time all of my aunts and uncles dressed up like the cast of Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit and performed at a fundraiser for my Catholic elementary school. My dad wore a Charles Barkley jersey and rapped. It was phenomenal. However, very little would be able to top the sequined habits parading around the DWTS set right now. Wow. I wish Woopie was involved somehow. OMG Kristin Chenoweth is going to perform! Ah! I’m so excited. There’s so much voice in that little body.
Come on along I’ll take you to, the lullaby of Broadway…
Today was not a no good, horrible, very bad day, but it definitely could have gone better for a multitude of reasons which are as follows:
1) I woke up to Joe Nolan telling me that all 4, 5, and 6 trains were experiencing significant delays due to a train derailment. Hm. The MTA has successfully cut off the only way I know how to get to work aside from walking and taking a cab. Don’t try to mind eff me MTA!!!
2) I saw a vulture attack a squirrel on my drive to the train station. Like, National Geographic-quality swooping. I think nature may have turned on us.
3) I miraculously found the R train and discovered that it also goes downtown and also has a stop at 28th Street. But, wait…is that blood on the subway titles? Yes. Yes, it is.
4) Leaving work, my elevator car landed on the first floor a little harder than usual, and some robotic voice said “Don’t be alarmed. We are experiencing technical difficulties.” Um, I’m alarmed. I’m sorry. Can’t be helped.
5) I saw my first subway rat. Who’s officially a New Yorker now, bitches??? But seriously. Nature. Turning on us.
6) I had the most crowded subway commute since I moved here (due to ongoing delays on the 4, 5, 6) and no one grabbed my ass. I mean, this is a win, but I couldn’t help but be a little offended.
My mentor Rob Delaney recently tweeted that the worst thing you could do to someone is leave them a voicemail. Ok, he’s not my mentor. We’ve never met. But he might be one of the funniest comedians on the planet right now (while also being the most disgusting), and now I want to bask in his awesomeness. I also wholeheartedly share a lot his world views, like his sarcastic anti-marijuana PSAs and his belief that cursing makes everything better. And now we share a mutual hatred of the voicemail, technology’s most fatal cancer.
Pictured from left to right: Kelly L., Joe B., Kelly C.
I’m sorry, but if this guy isn’t Joe Biden then I don’t know who is.
So I’m at my friend Katie’s bridal luncheon the day before her fantabulous wedding in Houston last weekend, and the woman sitting next to me (we’ll call her Trish, because that is her name) says that her husband looks exactly like Joe Biden. I smile and laugh because hey, he could look like anyone and this woman is sweet and also throwing the luncheon so I don’t want to make any enemies. But in the back of my head I know my dad tells people I look like Angie Harmon, so I also know that people’s visions of their loved ones is skewed.
So as many of you can tell, we don’t have your traditional Dancing with the Stars recap for you today. Well, I can tell you that it’s because I’m suffering from what we in the celebrity world like to call “exhaustion.” After a weekend in Houston, TX to celebrate the wedding of two of my best friends, things got a little out of control. And I’m not saying I’m like, a step away from Promises, but I am saying that sister needs a good night’s sleep.
Photo courtesy of The Sporting News
So this post is a tad premature since we’re not technically at Midnight Madness just yet, but you know what? I have a wedding to get to this weekend in Houston and sometimes I just don’t have time for you people. There. I said it. Not that I don’t love you. Clearly I’m writing this early so that you all have something to read. So I do care. I just can’t be on top of everything, all the time…Don’t leave me. I’m nothing without you. I’ll be better. Ok. I’m done.
We’re nearing that perfect time of the year when college basketball springs into action. I got my St. John’s season tickets in the mail yesterday, and life is starting to feel right again. It seems like only yesterday UConn went on their great run to win both the Big East Tournament and the NCAA Tournament. I still hate them, but I love me a good sports story.