It has come to my attention over my 28 years on this planet that extremely white people are just not cut out for heat waves. Like at all. The past two days in New York City have been absolutely brutal, and I am seriously (seriously!) considering a move to northern Scotland, Ireland, or somewhere on the UK countryside where I can enjoy dampness and cool sea air for the rest of my life. (It’s also possible that I have a warped sense of what these countries are like on a day-to-day basis. I blame Kate Middleton.)
I’ve tried to categorize for you the reasons why I, as an extremely pale female of mainly-Irish descent, should be so uncomfortable with this extreme weather, and I’ve found that not only am I extremely sensitive, I’m also a total complainer and a bit of a brat. But I know you’ll all bear with me.