So the challenge posed by the DWTS judges for this week was this: “show us something we’ve never seen before.” I have a problem with this for several reasons. 1) Len Goodman doesn’t like anything new or non-traditional. 2) This nice family show can’t do anything outside of the box! It’s not what their viewers want! 3) Bristol Palin.
Nevertheless, here we are at Week Three, which is Double Elimination week! The celebrities are in charge of costumes, choreography, music, everything. No matter what happens, it will be some show!
Courtesy of Perez Hilton
I wasn’t planning on blogging this season of Dancing with the Stars, but after last week, I feel like I owe it to the fabulousness that is going on. Not only is the dancing fantastic, every contestant is a fan favorite, making the competition that much more fierce. Unfortunately, Pamela Anderson left us last week, and her partner was Tristan McManus. Definitely gone too soon. But I still think she dances drunk, and it just could have gotten really, really ugly.
In case you missed last week, judges can award half-points this season, which should make the scoring pretty interesting. Other than that, the formula is pretty much the same, so lets get going!
Tristan! courtesy of ABC.
It’s been way too long since I heard the drum beat of the DWTS theme music; way too long since I’ve watched to see if a celebrity was going to trip down those awful stairs, or if Brooke was going to say something narcissistic. The ballroom is back!
I’ve already told you, I think Jaleel White has this in the bag. But I was watching some rehearsal footage on Good Morning America this morning, and everyone looks pretty polished! It might be a tight race. I give my votes to the first person who dances a routine to Call Me, Maybe. Oh, and there’s Tristan. Ok, I give all my votes to him.
A few questions before we get going. Does Gavin DeGraw ever take off his hat? Why is Joey Fatone in the audience? It’s early to be pulling that card. Does anyone miss the Kardashians? No? Ok. Let’s get this season going!
It’s the semi-finals people, DWTS’ Final Four. And basically what that means is that shit just got real. The remaining celebrities: Hope Solo, J.R. Martinez, Rob Kardashian and Ricki Lake all have three dances tonight, and although I do agree it will separate the boys from the men, I also think that the decision to put the stars through this is kind of abusive. It’s not like one of the dances is a group dance, or the silly but lovable dance marathon. Three separate dances! Hold on to your hats.
Talk about a crazy Halloween! First, we had a blizzard. Next, we lost power. Then everyone made fun of me for being afraid of every flickering candle in the house. I mean, a black out on Halloween weekend? That’s when people get murdered. Fact.
So now the power’s back on and we’re celebrating the scariest of all scary on DWTS. Tom Beregeron has promised me all kinds of ghouls and goblins. Just how did the dancers decide who would perform to Thriller and Monster Mash? Why is Tom dressed the same as always and Brooke looks like Cleopatra? And how will Rob deal with the recent KDash-Humphries divorce? Everything is scary tonight.
And now, “dead from Hollywood, it’s Dancing with the Stars!”
Ok guys, I’m back! After a week full of sinus infections, cold medicine, tissues and doctor’s appointments, I’m once again my old self, ready and willing to recap for you all the highlights of this most fantastic television show. But one more week of Chaz and I might just throw in the towel. I’m sorry, but he’s just not good.
So since it’s Broadway night, the DWTS opening act is from Sister Act, and I feel compelled to tell you about the time all of my aunts and uncles dressed up like the cast of Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit and performed at a fundraiser for my Catholic elementary school. My dad wore a Charles Barkley jersey and rapped. It was phenomenal. However, very little would be able to top the sequined habits parading around the DWTS set right now. Wow. I wish Woopie was involved somehow. OMG Kristin Chenoweth is going to perform! Ah! I’m so excited. There’s so much voice in that little body.
Come on along I’ll take you to, the lullaby of Broadway…
So as many of you can tell, we don’t have your traditional Dancing with the Stars recap for you today. Well, I can tell you that it’s because I’m suffering from what we in the celebrity world like to call “exhaustion.” After a weekend in Houston, TX to celebrate the wedding of two of my best friends, things got a little out of control. And I’m not saying I’m like, a step away from Promises, but I am saying that sister needs a good night’s sleep.
So I love DWTS, but after the moves I saw on the dance floor at my cousin Fallon’s wedding yesterday, I don’t know if these celebrities are going to impress me tonight. However, it is “Movie Night” and the dances are always fun!
Question: are all the chosen movie themes for the night about superheros? Because everyone is dressed like Wonderwoman, even the men. No one at the wedding was dressed like Wonderwoman. Point, DWTS. But Brooke is basically wearing a version of the bridesmaids dresses. So point, Fallon’s wedding.
I should also warn everyone that if the recap seems to fall off mid-show, it’s because I passed out. There’s only so many hours you can wear Spanx without it severely affecting you the next day.
On to the movies!
So Rob Kardashian has decided to tell people that one of his married co-stars is sleeping with their married professional dance partner. But don’t worry guys, he later took to his Twitter account to tell people he was only kidding! Because ruining two marriages is hilarious, Robert! Such a jokester.
I wonder what dances we have tonight, because everyone’s outfits are slutty. Tonight’s the night that the celebrities have to tell a personal story, which always ranges from, “one time I fell off my bike,” to the death of someone’s fiance. What I’m saying is, it’s going to be emotional. To the most memorable years of their lives!