I’m not a big fan of turkey and mashed potatoes. Mostly because it’s really just not fattening enough. So a few years ago I just started cooking things I like to eat – pigs in a blanket, mac and cheese – and bringing them to Thanksgiving for myself. Predictably, because I’m such a gourmet (pronounced GORE-MET), everything was a hit. These plates, as well as my chocolate chip-less chocolate chip cookies, are now reoccurring fixtures at family functions.
While there was a period of time in college where all I ate was Easy Mac, those days are gladly behind me, and my mac and cheese is actually made from (semi) scratch! But I’m not a great cook, so the process was a little touch-and-go. This was an actual quote from my mom tonight: “You need to use a whisk. You do know what a whisk is, right?” Yes, mom. I have my master’s degree and have lived on my own for about 8 years now. I know what a whisk is. I also know how to separate my whites and colors when doing my wash, but you wouldn’t think it after the week of laundry I’ve been doing at my parents’ house.
Anyway, I melted a stick of butter over low-medium heat, stirred in some flour, poured in 3 1/2 cups of milk, then melted 16 ounces of Velveeta. Also, I cooked a pound of elbow (or some more appropriate Italian name) macaroni. You can put breadcrumbs on the top, or ham or lobster or something in it if you so choose, but I don’t like all that fanciness. Straight up cheese and pasta for me, thanks. Pour the cheese mix on the elbows, and bake til something somewhere is brown. Sooooo good.
Now the pigs in a blanket, or as I like to call them, “pigs in a comforter,” are less stressful. Basically all you need are full Nathan’s hotdogs and Pillsbury crescent rolls. Cut each hotdog in four, cut up each piece of crescent roll dough, and roll the hotdog pieces. Since you’re using crescent rolls that are really too big for the hotdogs, they are going to cook up really big and awesome. They’re pretty much amazing. Cook the pigs in the oven at around 350 degrees, until the outsides of the rolls are golden/brown. Use mustard or ketchup on the side. Class act.
So if you’re looking for some kind of modern American cuisine, or expecting classic French hors d’oeuvres, don’t invite me to your holiday parties. I’m just not that kind of girl. However, if you’re looking to enjoy something god-awfully fattening and bad for you, maybe something that you haven’t eaten since you were a little kid, give me a call. Maybe if you’re lucky I’ll bring my Funfetti cupcakes to your Christmas party.