Daily Archives: February 1, 2011

So, What if the Groundhog Can’t Even Get Out of His Hole Tomorrow?

Tomorrow, as all of you mighty well know, is Groundhog’s Day, and I’m a sucker for any holiday that has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Every February 2, you can find me checking every online newspaper from here to Timbuktu to see if that little sucker saw his shadow or not. And of course, I live and die by what said groundhog does.

However, it’s been snowing in the Northeast for approximately 157 years, and this morning I woke up quite concerned that Punxsutawney Phil isn’t even going to be able to leave his little hovel, let alone see/not see his freakin’ shadow. “Don’t worry,” my mom assured me when I inevitably called her about it this morning. “They’ll dig him out.” Now, as much as my mom tried, this was not reassuring, because I’ve seen Caddyshack, and I know how unpredictable gophers and groundhogs can be. What if P’tawney Phil is all like “Eff you guys, I’m not coming out of here. You can have winter all year-long for all I care…” What then???

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Filed under Holidays, WORST Things Ever

Would You Trust this Man with Your Children?

This is a very dear friend of mine, and to the best of my knowledge he’s not as creepy as this license photo. And even though in retaliation he could say that some mornings I look like a gorilla, if I was a police officer, I’d be doing some very serious profiling.

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Filed under The Crazy People I Call My Own, WORST Things Ever