Pretty sure I’m about five seconds away from getting sucked into the sky. NBD.
Monthly Archives: September 2011
As a Passport Card-carrying member of New York Sports Club, I will proudly say that exercise is the most important meal of the day. Switching over from the Boston Sports Club at the beginning of this month, I was excited about the bevy of classes and fitness advantages I would be getting as a member, including the free fitness evaluation I was offered when I signed up. “Do you want an ass-kicker, or someone who’s going to baby you?” the manager asked as he filled out my profile form. “Oh, an ass-kicker,” I responded, so confident, so cool. Kelly, stick to what you know. You are neither of these things. And, as always, be careful what you wish for.
I approached my evaluation with some trepidation. I was nervous that the trainer would ask me to do something really hard and I’d fail miserably, never to work out again for the rest of my life. I don’t know where that was coming from, since I’ve been working out my whole life, but I know I’m not the world’s greatest athlete, and there are things I don’t do as well as others. I blame my parents for having very low muscle mass. I’m not saying they’re not in shape, because they very much are, but all three of us are just really, really white.
Dancing with the Stars: Now that World Peace is Out of the Picture, Let’s Get the Competition Going!
So Ron Artest is gone, which means I can finally unclench my butt cheeks. Seriously. He scared me like no other. He was involved in that Detroit Pistons/Indianapolis Pacers brawl right? Yeah, this is what I’m saying. It looks like we’re doing the Quickstep and Jive tonight, which is super fun because these are my two favorite dances. They’re fast and furious – no wonder the opening package showed everyone passing out. I’m excited!
Hope Solo, Jive: Hope is playing soccer and dancing, and I just think this is ludicrous. She’s having a tough time kicking correctly, because all she wants to do is kick a ball. You guyyyyysss! Maks and Hope are dressed up like soccer players. Well, something like that. And they’re kind of all over the place. Maybe it’s because her sneakers are high heels! It just kind of looks like she’s jumping all over the place. It was silly. And I didn’t love it.