Proving that you can’t count an Upper East Side helicopter parent out, Halloween proceeded as scheduled Wednesday night, with some streets in the high 70s blocked off for ardent trick-or-treaters. There were magicians, there were superheroes, and there were some slutty 14-year olds in really high, really sparkly stripper boots. Now, since everyone knows that 14 in UES years is really 27, I don’t think these girls should have been trick-or-treating. They should have been at a bar smoking a cigarette, drinking gin and tonics and talking about how emotionally stunted their boyfriends are. That’s what I did…I mean…what?
I’m happy to report that the brownstones on 77th know how to have a good time. The front stoops were decorated to the hilt, and two classy dames were handing out candy in full costume regalia. One of them was clearly a superhero I never heard of, and the other was wearing silly glasses. Aces.
Other costumes I saw yesterday around town are as follows: chubby Black Swan, Rosie the Riveter (maybe, also could have been her regular clothes), person with wig, and baby skeletons. Considering the circumstances, I think that’s a pretty good scorecard.
Hope everyone got enough candy to last until next Halloween. And if so, you should really share it with the people who are still without power and didn’t get to celebrate. You’re being kind of selfish and everyone is talking about you.