Category Archives: WORST Things Ever

by | March 30, 2011 · 3:26 pm

Why Can’t You Stay Home with Me: The Worst Children’s Book of All Time

During my daily browsing of the Awful Library Books site (if you haven’t checked it out yet, you need to), I came across this gem, a book about children with disabilities (which is great, teaching kids about the differences we all have, but apparently the only handicap a child could have in the 1980s was being in a wheelchair – I’ve seen the special Saved by the Bell, I know what’s up).

Anyway, I noticed that the cover bore a striking resemblance to a book my mom used to read to me when I was little – I’m assuming the same illustrations that every “Golden Learn About Living Book” has. I took to Googling, and of course, right on Amazon you can find a copy of Why Can’t You Stay Home with Me, possibly the most traumatizing book ever in print. Let’s walk this through.

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Filed under About Me, The Crazy People I Call My Own, The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related, WORST Things Ever

by | March 21, 2011 · 8:12 pm

The Moral Implications of Having Someone Else Do Your Laundry

Am I supposed to just walk by and pretend this isn't happening?

Over the past two and a half weeks I’ve been back and forth between New York and Massachusetts, for some good reasons, and some not so good. In the past 16 days, I’ve gone from Boston, to Highland Falls, to Babylon, to Center Moriches, back to Boston, then to New York City, back to Boston again, then Boston to Center Moriches and back…twice.

I’m exhausted. Which pretty much means that the 25 pounds of laundry I had sitting in two (two) laundry baskets and several duffel bags in my bedroom were never going to get cleaned. Until my cousin RJ convinced me over the weekend to “send it out,” because RJ is the only person I know that has everything picked up and delivered.

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by | March 15, 2011 · 9:26 am

Beware the Ides of March

So, I thought I had a ghost. That may sound like a crazy statement, but it’s true. And while I thought the first haunting might have been a fluke, we’ve now had two encounters, and I’ve come to terms with the fact that he is very real and very much involved in my life.

In early 2010, I took a walk over to the old “Transportation Building” (now a food court) to get a coffee. In between the ATM and the Dunkin’ Donuts, a large flat screen TV has been installed in the wall, and it’s almost always playing Headline News. This particular morning, they were doing a story about US soldiers in Iraq playing flag football. I lingered a bit watching the piece, mostly to avoid going back to work, and after a minute or two, a man who I assumed to be homeless joined me. When the news piece ended, he turned to face me, pointed his finger in my face, looked me dead in the eyes and repeated three times: “West Point.”

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