You Can’t Handle the B-E-E

The title of this photo is Spelling Monster. Thank you, Fox News.

Get ready for one of the greatest sporting events of all time that doesn’t require any physical exertion whatsoever, unless of course you win and you’re super nerdy and you do a weird half-jump, half-dance combination. That’s right! It’s the Scripps National Spelling Bee!

Oh my God, I’m so E-X-C-I-T-E-D! For years I have been tuning into the Bee solely to bask in its quirks and hilarity. I love when the kids ask for the language of origin. The concentration on their faces as they scribble with their finger on the back of those godforsaken neck nametags. The stumbling as they ask for the word to be used in a sentence. The Drama! The Intrigue! The Intensity! (There’s also a big chunk of time spent making fun of these er, spellers, because I was super nerdy, and I grew out of it – kind of, not really. So I have some license.)

I would love to one day go and witness this glorious event in person, but I think that would require me to have a child and train him/her to be the MOST AWESOME at something they may never use again. And I don’t think I’m gonna have that kind of time. However, there is $40,000 in cash and prizes at stake. Got to think this one through.

And, to prove that some people are just born to protest anything, boston.com is reporting that “four peaceful protesters, some dressed in full-length black and yellow bee costumes, represented the American Literacy Council and the London-based Spelling Society and stood outside the Grand Hyatt on Thursday, where the Scripps National Spelling Bee is being held. Their message was short: Simplify the way we spell words.” Ugh. Just let these kids have some (light to moderate) fun.

Watch it live here.