Monthly Archives: July 2010

Even Better Than the Wine Purse

This ain’t your mother’s Wine Rack. And it ain’t your sister’s water bra. This my friends is a new technology that allows you to both look great in those skimpy club shirts and drink all night without shame.

I can’t really tell who invented this, but Opentip.com is advertising this device – which can hold a full bottle of wine and has a connected tube to drink from – as the “Papa Bert WineRack Flask Bra” (so many names!). For $28.75, you can “turn an A cup into double D’s AND sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends!” Score! Papa Bert just set women back about 50 years (and we’re grateful).

“While you may be offended – I apologize in advance – I have a small bust and live for my white wine,” admits Justine Ingersoll from Shefinds.com. “So I secretly kind of love it.”

The Wine Rack can be paired with the Wine Purse for a classy night on the town.

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Life is Good

Crossing the Long Island Sound into New London, CT.

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The Day of the Drop is Upon Us

“Tell the pilot to drive safely, he has very precious cargo.”

That’s what my mom says to me every time I get on an airplane. Usually though, I’m not trying to jump out of said aircraft.

Tomorrow, my friends, is the day I will finally “jump out of a perfectly good airplane.” This precious cargo is ready for the Big Drop.

A lot of people have asked “why the hell are you doing this?” I have a pretty simple explanation for it. Basically, I got dumped, cried about it for approximately three months (o.k. possibly longer, possibly currently crying), and then decided to throw myself off of something. Fortunately, I wanted a parachute attached to my back.

The timeline breakdown of this ingenious plan goes as follows:

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