An Open Letter to My Voice, Which Has Gone Missing

Dear My Voice,

It’s been 4 days since you left, and I can safely say that they’ve been the hardest 4 days of my life. I know that I’ve put you through a lot in the past few weeks, but I don’t think that this is any reason to abandon our relationship. I really think we can make this work.

I’m sorry for sleeping with the air conditioner on. I know how you hate that. I’m sorry for that terrible rendition of Janis Joplin’s Me and Bobby Magee on the bus back from RJ’s wedding. It was pitchy at best. I’m sorry for recounting my life story to that random couple at Tavern in the Square Friday night. I was drunk and, I know that’s no excuse, and I fully admit it was wrong. It was right around that time when we were last together. So I’m guessing that was the last straw for you.

But remember the good times? Like how you automatically change to a foul-mouthed Long Island girl the minute you cross the New York-Connecticut border? Or when you tell jokes you think are hilarious, and no one else laughs? I think that’s adorable. We can get back to those good times. We can and we will.

If you come back, I promise to be better. I’ll get more sleep. I’ll drink tea with honey and abandon my love of soft drinks. I’ll stop talking to strangers on the T and in the grocery store so that you can get the rest you deserve. They don’t need to know that much information about me anyway. And as hard as it may be, I will no longer sing Sweet Caroline at the top of my lungs. You’re absolutely right. It doesn’t sound good.

Since you’ve been gone, this letter is my only recourse. You know I don’t make empty promises, and just like you, I always mean what I say. My feelings are from the heart. Please come back. I can’t go on without you.


1 Comment

Filed under About Me, WORST Things Ever

One response to “An Open Letter to My Voice, Which Has Gone Missing

  1. Donna Turnbull

    TOO Dang Funny!!!!

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