BREAKING NEWS: Joe Biden Spotted Moonlighting as Mild-Mannered Wedding Guest in Houston

Pictured from left to right: Kelly L., Joe B., Kelly C.

I’m sorry, but if this guy isn’t Joe Biden then I don’t know who is.

So I’m at my friend Katie’s bridal luncheon the day before her fantabulous wedding in Houston last weekend, and the woman sitting next to me (we’ll call her Trish, because that is her name) says that her husband looks exactly like Joe Biden. I smile and laugh because hey, he could look like anyone and this woman is sweet and also throwing the luncheon so I don’t want to make any enemies. But in the back of my head I know my dad tells people I look like Angie Harmon, so I also know that people’s visions of their loved ones is skewed.

I remember this conversation the next day, at the actual wedding, and I search and search the crowd for any vice-presidential lookalikes. I see none. I now think that Trish is just some sweet Southern lady who wanted to be rebellious and tell her new twenty-something friends that her husband resembled one of the country’s leading Democrats. I love Conservative Texans. They also frighten me a little.

However, things started to get seriously cray cray when I went to get in the buffet line at Ousie’s Table (seriously, the best mac and cheese ever) and lo and behold, Joe Biden is standing right next to me looking all serious in his black suit. I forget for a moment that this isn’t actually him. I then spot Trish, give her the “one moment” sign with my finger and dash across the dance floor for my camera. This needs to be documented.

The following is the actual conversation I had with Trish, her husband, a.k.a. Joe B. Houston and their son:

Me: So, your husband looks exactly like Joe Biden. I had no idea.
Trish: I told you so!
Me: Yeah, but I didn’t believe you. I actually thought you might have been a bit of a looney toon.
Trish: nervous laughter…
Me: to Joe B. Houston We’re taking a picture.
Joe B. Houston: And your name is…
Me: Kelly. This is my friend. Her name is also Kelly. Picture. handing my camera to Trish and Joe B. Houston’s son Thanks.

So we didn’t discuss fiscal policy or Afghanistan, but I can say that our interaction was amazing and I think we formed a lasting bond. Mostly because I think Trish and her husband are probably at home right now reminiscing about the time that crazy person accosted them while they were innocently trying to make their way through the buffet line at a wedding. But honestly, even if he was the real Joe Biden, it probably would have all gone down the same way. Whether you’re the vice president or a mild-mannered wedding guest, I have no sense of decorum whatsoever, and all I really just want to do is take pictures. This guy’s just lucky I’m not making a kissy-face, or worse, giving a thumbs-up, which apparently I do now.


Filed under BEST Things Ever, The Crazy People I Call My Own

9 responses to “BREAKING NEWS: Joe Biden Spotted Moonlighting as Mild-Mannered Wedding Guest in Houston

  1. Audrey Marie

    I love this. Let’s call Joe Lieberman and tell him.

  2. Audrey Marie

    ❤ Seriously. Amazing. And this conversation makes me miss my old click wheel blackberry, and that bar in the Marriott, and Cafe Internationale. Awe, when can we go back and run DC?

  3. jmac

    Since I’m such a charmer, I’m pretty sure I walked up shortly after the picture was taken and said “you don’t really look that much like the Vice President.” and then walked off to get another grilled cheese or something. I was in spanx so it was ok.

  4. And this is why I love you, Kelly.

    Also, I love Cafe Internationale.

  5. kelly

    You DO kinda look like Angie Harmon!

  6. Katie

    HAHAHAHA love this

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s