For those of you who do not know, I have very irrational fears. One of them is of white condiments. Another is talking inanimate objects. But my most fearsome of irrational fears is definitely a fear of things that never change their expression – clowns, the Scream mask, certain people who shall remain nameless. And with that, I’m happy to announce that Burger King is finally getting rid of their plastic king mascot, the scariest of all things.
Tag Archives: Things That May One Day Kill Me
Quote of the Day – Earthquake Edition
So when I started to feel woozy yesterday and almost fell over, I just thought it was all the drugs I had taken at lunch. But it was a real life earthquake! In Virginia, not Boston. But still! Anyway, several news outlets compiled the best tweets from yesterday’s not Armageddon-like quake, but this is by far my favorite:
Danny Zuker: Oh, God. What did you do to her? RT @chrisbrown Please pray for Virginia.
Filed under Around Town, BEST Things Ever, Other People's Stuff
This is What Depression Looks Like
And only this remains...
So, the movers came on Saturday, and what I thought was going to be a fun little “live on an aerobed in your living room and rough it” kind of week has turned out to be more similar to what I can only assume were Ernest Hemingway’s last days.
Discarded clothes? Check. Tub of coffee? Check. Thousand-page novel? Check. Remote controls? Check, check. Apparently I have everything I need. However, it’s about 8,000 degrees in my apartment, I spent the majority of my time Sunday laying down because I have no furniture that allows me to sit upright, and I’ve seen the Khloe and Lamar Wedding episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians three times in the past 24 hours.
Basically what I’m trying to say is that if you’re looking for me at any point this week, I’ll be at Mary Ann’s. They at least have bar stools.
Filed under About Me, WORST Things Ever
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