If You See a Mortar Shell, Run in the Other Direction

What am I here for? The mortar or the spine? Photo courtesy of the Southampton Press.

It wasn’t more than a year ago that I was coming home every day from work complaining about how crazy Long Island truly is. Ask anyone around that knows me – there are people who no longer speak to me because the complaining was at a maximum. Since then, I often think that maybe I exaggerated certain situations – that the crazy was all in my head. That was, until I read the following tidbit in the Southampton Press:

Two startling discoveries were made at Ponquogue Beach in Hampton Bays on Wednesday morning.

A beachgoer spotted a rusty mortar shell on the sand just east of the concession stand at around 11 a.m. Less than a half hour earlier, someone had discovered a large portion of a spine washed up between the Ponquogue Beach pavilion and Road I, according to police.

Um, excuuuuuse me? Can you repeat that? How can we be so nonchalant about this nonsense??!!

What are the chances these things were found on the same day and NOT related? If they are related, what was going on that brought them both to the beach? How are spines and mortar shells related? I NEED answers!!!

According to the report, the eastern part of the beach was evacuated, but the western past was kept open while the mortar shell was detonated. The spine has been taken to the medical examiner’s office to determine if it’s from a human or animal (it’s big enough to possibly be human??????).

I just got a little more leery about my trip to Long Island this weekend. Could you imagine if I went to reach for my Miller Lite and accidentally picked up an undetonated mortar shell? With that said, it may help me get that tan I’ve been working for since I was 11.


Filed under Around Town, WORST Things Ever

2 responses to “If You See a Mortar Shell, Run in the Other Direction

  1. Denny

    What were those theories about the flight to Paris that blew up over Moriches Bay years ago ??????

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