Today was not a no good, horrible, very bad day, but it definitely could have gone better for a multitude of reasons which are as follows:
1) I woke up to Joe Nolan telling me that all 4, 5, and 6 trains were experiencing significant delays due to a train derailment. Hm. The MTA has successfully cut off the only way I know how to get to work aside from walking and taking a cab. Don’t try to mind eff me MTA!!!
2) I saw a vulture attack a squirrel on my drive to the train station. Like, National Geographic-quality swooping. I think nature may have turned on us.
3) I miraculously found the R train and discovered that it also goes downtown and also has a stop at 28th Street. But, wait…is that blood on the subway titles? Yes. Yes, it is.
4) Leaving work, my elevator car landed on the first floor a little harder than usual, and some robotic voice said “Don’t be alarmed. We are experiencing technical difficulties.” Um, I’m alarmed. I’m sorry. Can’t be helped.
5) I saw my first subway rat. Who’s officially a New Yorker now, bitches??? But seriously. Nature. Turning on us.
6) I had the most crowded subway commute since I moved here (due to ongoing delays on the 4, 5, 6) and no one grabbed my ass. I mean, this is a win, but I couldn’t help but be a little offended.