Author Archives: kellyanncarroll

Your Ironic Twist of Fate For the Day

Photo courtesy of liftlab.com.

According to the Daily Mail, Jimi Heselden, owner of the company that makes Segways – those annoying yet fascinating modes of transportation for lazy people who can’t use their own legs – died yesterday after riding his own personal Segway off a cliff.

Heselden was said to have been riding around his British estate when he “plunged into the River Wharf.” For now, police are classifying this incident as purely accidental.

The newspaper also said that the type of Segway Heselden happened to be operating at the time was a “rugged country version.” So you people taking a tour of the Capitol Building in D.C. don’t need to be worried that your Segway will escalate to 5 m.p.h. and take out some Senator. Unless you rig it to happen that way and will then blame it on a faulty contraption. I see right through your evil plan Tea Partiers.

1 Comment

Filed under WORST Things Ever

If Facebook Existed Years Ago

So I think I’m a little late on this, but I’ve been busy and I just, just got to my emails (thanks Sammie!). I think what this little joke is basically telling us is that, if Facebook did indeed exist years ago, it would have actually been…interesting? My friend Todd eating a chicken sandwich isn’t nearly as life-altering as Adam and Eve creating original sin. Unless you’re Todd, who makes a big deal about everything. @IAmBillyShakespeare: Et tu, Brute?


Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under BEST Things Ever, Oh Baby It's a Wild World

Katy Perry and Sesame Street: Here’s My Problem with This…

Last time I checked, Elmo wasn’t wearing ANY clothes. So…

1 Comment

Filed under TV FANatic, WORST Things Ever