These are all really great things:
“why can’t you write for SNL… particularly weekend update? also marry seth myers. you guys would get along great.” – gchat message from Alli Smith.
You hear that SNL? You NEED me!
Author Archives: kellyanncarroll
Quote of the Day
Filed under Quote Of The Day
Reason Number 1,467 I Don’t Really Need to Ever Go to China
A truck driver washes himself after waiting over two days in the jam on an entrance ramp to the Beijing-Tibet Highway. Photo courtesy of the Associated Press.
Drivers in Beijing have been stuck in 10 days worth of traffic that is just now starting to somewhat breakup, according to reports. Officials are predicting that traffic won’t be completely cleared until some time in September. And I thought driving on the Mass Pike/George Washington Bridge/Long Island Expressway at rush hour was hell.
Shai Oster of the Wall Street Journal said today that traffic on National Highway 110, to the west of Beijing, began around Aug. 13 when construction on the roadway, also known as the Beijing-Tibet Highway, started. The closure of other roads around the same time added to the crunch of cars. And, not to miss the opportunity to bank on the horribleness, vendors have set up shop along the highway, selling things like noodles at inflated rates. Basically, tiny villages are springing up all over National Highway 110 as people await the chance to escape gridlock.
I haven’t heard anything about the Chinese government bringing in port-a-potty’s or portable showers along the route, so I’m assuming it’s getting pretty grimy out there. But I have to ask, what are these people driving to that’s important enough to wait 10 days for? Freedom?
Filed under WORST Things Ever
Louie! I’m Outside with the Truck. Let’s Go!
I know the mafia is dangerous. I know organized crime runs underground in almost all of our cities, and is responsible for crime of all sorts. But the mafia’s latest scandal is probably the greatest scam I have ever heard.
According to The Guardian, mafia clans have been using the ESPN Bottom Line-like ticker of a popular Italian soccer show to relay messages to “godfathers” locked up in the big house. “Imprisoned crime bosses were kept up to date on mob business through mobile phone texts sent to the show, Quelli Che il Calcio, which unwittingly scrolled them across the bottom of the screen, among innocent messages from supporters of Italian football teams,” the newspaper reports.
Officials were notified of the breach through a letter to an inmate that was intercepted. The letter allegedly told one mafioso to watch the show for secret messages. One of the texts reportedly read “Everything is OK – Paolo,” which to me is more of a calming reassurance than it is the directions to Jimmy Hoffa’s body.
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