Tag Archives: Humor

Quote of the Day

This kid is going places. Like jail.

Poor Ivanka.

“Basically I was sending some twitters and emails dude. I just got charged for stalking. Some internet bullshit. I just wrote her, I said, ‘I want to marry you.’ I said, ‘Celebrity Apprentice sucks.’ I think thats what may have done it. You know what I mean? Because I said her show sucks, that’s probably why I got arrested. I feel like she’s too uptight at this point. I can’t be with a woman that anal. Is there any chance you can drop the charges, it’s really inconvenient at this point. I’m not gonna say that my life is going very ideally at the moment. It’s kind of a bit of a disaster, but I’ll see if I could turn things around. I didn’t picture being here, celebrity stalking, at 28, you know? That’s not what you dream of as a kid. I figured I’d be big-time money, running the city, dude. Just chalk it up as a bad year. I’m not even stalking anymore, stalking’s an old thing, dude. I’m thinking of getting into jewel theft.” — Justin Massler, aka Ivanka Trump’s stalker (via nymag.com)

“Ace robs banks.”

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Filed under Quote Of The Day, WORST Things Ever

Ahhh, Ambition

The greatest thing about life is the ability to make your dreams, both big and small, come true. And if your dream is to paddle an inflatable bouncy castle across Lake Garda in Italy, then do it up my friend.

According to National Geographic, three young British men recently made this dream a reality, recording the feat for Live Every Litre, a documentary-like Web site following people as they live out their aspirations all over the world. Pretty cool. But the best thing about this whole endeavor may be a quote from bouncy-castle enthusiast Chris Hayes to NG:

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Scenes from the Green Line…

Photo courtesy of boston.com

So, this was my morning commute: walk the 5-7 minutes from my apartment to Cleveland Circle. Discover lots of MBTA workers in orange jackets standing out in the rain with Boston police officers. Realize right then that it’s going to take me approximately five hours and 17 minutes to get to work. Pile onto MBTA bus because the T isn’t running. Creep down Beacon Street in morning traffic, sweating because the bus’ heat is on full blast. Get to the Brandon Hall T stop where I see that a humongous tree has fallen across the T tracks and landed on a car that will never be driven again. Realize that this must be the reason we’re taking the bus. Curse the MBTA for not being completely underground. Get off said bus at Coolidge Corner. Have short conversation with MBTA worker about how big this tree is. He tells me no one was killed. Have mild guilt attack after realizing that people’s safety never crossed my mind while I was too busy bitching about the rain and Boston transportation in general. Get onto packed T at Coolidge Corner and proceed down Beacon Street. Listen to people bitch and moan about the T being too crowded. Want to yell out “no one was killed!” just to make them feel bad. Get to work. Blog. The End.

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Filed under Around Town, WORST Things Ever