Tag Archives: News

Soooo Pimp

According to ESPN, Florida’s Miami-Dade county will have a new name come July 1. Call it Miami-WADE County, in honor of the Heat’s greatest player, Dwyane Wade, obviously.

In a unanimous vote on Tuesday, county commissioners decided on the week-long name change “in recognition of all that Dwyane Wade has done for the visibility, stature and national image,” of Miami-Dade. But as ESPN also reports, Wade becomes a free agent on July 1, and clearly this is all a ploy to keep him with the Heat. How can you not stay in a county named after you?

“It’s about who can come to Miami,” Wade told ESPN.com on Wednesday. “It’s about who do you trust, who can fit the organization, who best fits you as a player, things of that nature.” So this county name change is not going to cement your decision to stay or go? Shocker.

Here’s to hoping Miami-Wade/Miami-Dade sets a precedent for future county name changes. When I become rich and famous, I want Orange County, NY to become Orange You Glad Kelly Lived Here County, NY.

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Clearly, God Does Not Want This Oil Cleaned Up

Photo courtesy of the Korean Federation for Environmental Movement

According to the Washington Post:

“BP has shut down siphoning efforts from its leaking well in the Gulf of Mexico after a ship collecting the oil caught fire, the company says. The fire is believed to have been caused by lightning. BP says the capture operation is expected to resume later Tuesday.”

My prediction is that later today a killer whale and his entire family will attack the ship, rendering it useless and spilling out all of the already-siphoned oil. Just a guess.

Other things destroyed by lightening this week: USA Today

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Time to Finally See What Those U2 Commercials Have Been All About

I haven’t played soccer since I was 13, when I was on the “yellow” team and basically watched people run around me. One time, I scored a goal against my own team. I was pretty terrible. But I’m sure I can speak for all of you when I say those FIFA World Cup commercials I’ve been seeing since January have renewed my spirit for real “football,” which has pretty much been dormant since Brandi Chastain hit that shoot-out goal against China and made everyone think a woman in a sports-bra was slutty. Was that 11 years ago already? You’ve got to be kidding me.

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Filed under BEST Things Ever, Wide World Of Sports