Tag Archives: Work Distractions

by | November 12, 2010 · 4:55 pm

RIP Ulysses the Pumpkin

“Come, my friends.’Tis not too late to seek a newer world. Push off, and sitting well in order smite the sounding furrows; for my purpose holds to sail beyond the sunset, and the baths of all the western stars, until I die.”

Ulysses the Pumpkin was laid to rest Friday, Nov. 12, 2010. He was one month old.

Ulysses was born in Jamesport, NY, but moved to Boston in October of this year. A lover of books, he worked in publishing and was named after the famed Alfred, Lord Tennyson poem.

In his last few weeks he worked as supervisor of cubicle 6E307A. Co-workers remember him as “always with a smile on his face.”

He is survived by John, Paul, Ringo and George Gord of Brighton, Massachusetts.

Ulysses will be laid to rest next to Dunkin’ Donuts Munchkin container, as they were old friends. In lieu of flowers, please send donations to the Kelly, Laney, Sam and Sandra Scholarship Fund (preferably in the form of cash).

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by | August 30, 2010 · 2:03 pm

Family Circus Just Got Jersey-fied

The funny people over at Jersey Circus have brought together two cultural icons to form one, outrageously hilarious, (hopefully) future cultural icon.

Pictures from the classic comic strip Family Circus are paired with Jersey Shore quotes to create something I could seriously read all day. This is my new favorite thing ever, and I know I say that like, five times a day, but this could definitely stick for at least 24 hours.

Those Jersey Shore quotes are funny on their own, where Family Circus is usually sweet and endearing. Both, however, always include some kind of life lesson, like go to Church on Sunday, or don’t smush with grenades when your ex-girlfriend is sleeping in the next room. Stuff you need to know.

“We strive to reconcile our guilty delight in Jersey Shore, a bastion of trash, with our eye-rolling fondness for the Family Circus,” reads Jersey Circus’ mission statement. “We do this by juxtaposing the two in a very literal sense. We think you’ll agree that something important is being done here.”

I agree. I really do.

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by | August 26, 2010 · 3:44 pm

Denny Carroll Can’t Even Handle This Right Now

When I was in preschool we used to have Cheese Nips for snack time and I used to cry because I came from a Cheez-It only household and they just aren’t the same, no matter what Mrs. Gilles tries to tell you. They’re just not.

Here to prove it, secondratesnacks.com is currently holding a vote as to which is the better cheese-flavored delight: the obviously way more awesome Cheez-It or the sad and lonely Cheese Nip. Clearly, I’m partial, as there are actually people in the world who would rather (gross) eat a Nip.

“I mentioned I was going to compare these to the intern at work (way back earlier this month when I had a job),” writes whoever it is that runs Second Rate Snacks, “and she felt very strongly about Cheese Nips and how disgusting Cheez-Its were, almost like she thought people who favored Cheez-Its also ate dog food.” Well, I don’t like this intern one bit (also, can we talk about the abundance of bloggers who say they used to have a job? This does not bode well for me).

Vote here, and vote well. If you don’t make the right choice, Denny will make you sit on the couch for 15 whole minutes. And you know what that right choice is.

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