I haven’t played soccer since I was 13, when I was on the “yellow” team and basically watched people run around me. One time, I scored a goal against my own team. I was pretty terrible. But I’m sure I can speak for all of you when I say those FIFA World Cup commercials I’ve been seeing since January have renewed my spirit for real “football,” which has pretty much been dormant since Brandi Chastain hit that shoot-out goal against China and made everyone think a woman in a sports-bra was slutty. Was that 11 years ago already? You’ve got to be kidding me.
As the World Cup begins today in South Africa, I can’t help but think of how awesome it must be to be there. While we in America don’t have the same passion for really any of our sports (as much as we love them), the rest of the world lives and dies on football, and I can’t think of anything much cooler than that. So even if you don’t love watching a soccer ball bounce around for hours on end, tune in at some point during the World Cup. It’s a culture thing. Experience it.
NoMad Blogger 
I had an editor who thought soccer would be infinitely more entertaining if they put a bear in as goalie. Would the bear stop the shot or eat a person? You didn’t know. Would he go crazy and start charing the stands? There’s no telling. He said that was a game he could watch and gamble on.
Also, no way the whole shirtless Chastain thing was 11 years ago. I refuse to believe that.
I was in Ireland for the last one, and actually enjoyed it. The Irish were rooting for the Poles-by-proxy since they hadn’t qualified. (Well, in truth their most profound enjoyment was in rooting against the English, but still.) It’s more fun if you pick a totally random team and root for them blindly because they have a cool nickname. I’m going Ghana this year. Go Black Stars of Africa!
http://www.groundreport.com/Sports/African-Football-Team-Nicknames/2853692
I just really like soccer. I don’t think of it as a ‘cultural’ experience if most suburban kids do it daily. Also, I would adamently oppose the whole bear-as-goalie thing – as it would eliminate my position. But for the sake of entertainment, I’d be willing to growl a bit.