Jennifer Aniston’s latest installment of Smartwater ads is completely bonkers, and this one in particular (the one where her abs look dangerously similar to my own), stares back at me every time I leave my office. I have not yet decided if this is motivating or just down right mean. Thank you, Smartwater.
Clearly, there are things that I need to know about Jennifer Aniston’s workout routine and diet so that I too can look EXACTLY like that. Just in case Jennifer reads this blog, I’m going to list them below. And, begin:
1. How much Smartwater do you drink a day? Is it only Smartwater, or will the water from the tap in my office (which is no longer contaminated, thank you city of Boston) suffice?
2. Do you eat Chipotle burritos? How often?
3. How much Coke is too much Coke?
4. How much coke is too much coke?
5. If I buy the sports bra and yoga pants you are sporting in this ad, will the exercise even be necessary?
6. Do highlights make you thinner looking?
7. Do fruit snacks count as fruit?
8. Do you think Shiloh Jolie-Pitt really wants to be a boy? (Sidenote: My mom thinks that Angelina and Brad are doing this on purpose to force Shiloh to be a lesbian, because they selfishly “want one of everything.”)
No rush getting back to me Jen. I’ll be on the elliptical.
NoMad Blogger 
This is good. Let me know when you hear back from Jen. This is information that would need to be shared.
Fuck Jen, I want to hear more from your Mom. What are her thoughts on Chaz Bono?
this is great. and re: shiloh, i’m with your mom.
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