Phil Best, mayor of Dublin, GA, has a message for all you saggy-pants wearers: “You are a sex offender.”
Ok, maybe not in so many words, but Best recently passed an amendment to the town’s indecent exposure laws insinuating just that. The mayor explained that the town government has “gotten several complaints from citizens saying the folks with britches down below their buttocks was offensive, and wasn’t there something we could do about it.” Quite frankly, if you’re still using the word “britches,” saggy pants are the least of your problems.
Violators of this new amendment will be charged up to $200 in fines, but will also be put in the same class as people who resort to “masturbation, fornication and urination in public places.”
While I think this is crazy based on the above information alone, some people are outraged because they think the law targets black men, who they say are “the ones wearing the saggy, baggy pants.” Clearly, this is not the case, as anyone with a TV can tell that the new trend is skinny jeans. Obviously.
I think really all this law has done is prove that Dublin, GA is trapped in some type of weird time warp where people use dated colloquialisms and think dancing leads to bad behavior. It’s Footloose 2: Revenge of the Baggy Pants! Once again, I’ve given you a screenplay on a silver platter, Hollywood.