If Bristol Makes it Through Tonight’s DWTS Elimination, Sarah Palin Will Be Our Next President

Photo courtesy of ABC.com

Isn’t America just one big reality competition anyway?

Yes, I’m projecting that, should Bristol Palin’s unfathomable rise through the TV landscape continue after tonight, her mother, Sarah Palin, will be elected president in 2012. And in case you thought I’d just throw that statement out there with nothing to back it up (which I do on occasion), here are my reasons:

1. Conservative/Christian voters: After 8 weeks of dancing (and countless years watching the show), I’m fairly certain that Bristol’s fanbase is everyone in Alaska (minus maybe Levi Johnston) and all registered Republicans. Should she move through to next week and say, Kurt Warner gets the boot, she will probably pick up the Christian sect, which might just make her unstoppable. Sound like any Tina Fey look-alikes we know? On top of that, I’m sure there’s some people out there that vote for Bristol in the hopes that she’ll fall flat on her face, and some fun can be made at her expense. Again, the same could probably be said for her mother.

2. Skill and Experience are clearly not important: Bristol has absolutely no performance experience, and let’s face it, she’s not a great dancer. As proved by those who keep her safe from elimination week after week, the American people cannot be bothered with qualifications. And they don’t even really care if you make a bunch of mistakes and don’t try hard. THEY WILL STILL VOTE FOR YOU. Point, Sarah.

3. Sarah Palin is already running for office and nobody knows it: Um, can we give the other candidates equal air time? Can Newt Gingrich come out and dance a jig sometime soon? Or maybe President Obama can be a guest judge as he tries to regain his seat? After appearing on episode after episode of DWTS this season – with her husband, her other daughters, and baby Trig (who’s so adorable I might even vote for her) – Sarah Palin is clearly beginning her push for 2012. And although it’s technically not illegal, I really feel like ABC is going to have some explaining to do two Novembers from now.

So, with all that said, what better way to test the political waters than by throwing your oldest daughter to the wolves in an attempt to gauge the climate of the American voter. Pretty savvy Palin. But I’m on to you.