Happy Birthday Tupac!

My efforts to solve the murder of Biggie Smalls have been put on a hiatus today to celebrate the 40th birthday of the possibly late Tupac Shakur. Killed at just 25 years old, we here at NoMad Blog tried to imagine what the great rapper would have been like at 40:

Audrey: Ain’t mad at cha on loop all day…If he was alive do you think that he’d be street still or would he be like Puffy (vodka, 40 name changes, actor, running the NYC marathon, etc) or like Rev. Run w/a reality show. Perhaps Ice-T, going the SVU route? Thoughts?

Jordy: My money’s on him being some sort of publicly elected figure. I bet he would be thinking about taking over Arnold’s governorship right about now. What campaign would they have against him? Smoking weed? That shit done been legalized. Heavy drinking? Accepted. Sleeping with multiple women? Par for the course. And hey, at least he doesn’t lie about any of it. Plus, can you imagine what his campaign trail would be like to follow?

Kelly: I think at 40 Tupac would still be in hiding after faking his own death in an attempt to take down Suge Knight’s hip-hop empire. Since he’s been “dead” for so long, he also has to plot out a way to make a “comeback” so as not to alienate the fans that mourned his passing as well as keep himself from being implicated in the death of one Biggie Smalls. And then he’ll run for governor, yes, on the platform of legalizing marijuana and prostitution. This sparks a frenemy-type relationship with Andrew Cuomo, because hey, if we’re going to legalize prostitution we might as well put Spitzer back in office. And the East Coast-West Coast feud is reborn.

Always a conspiracy theorist…

Rebekah: I think he’d have taken on some critically-acclaimed film roles, including one where he is a street thug who competes in a spoken word competition to the chagrin of his “friends” but in so doing woos the love of his life…Also, he’d have set up a bunch of charities and become mayor of LA. Then, in a move that shocked the hip-hop community, he’d announce that he is gay and campaign for same-sex marriage in California so he could wed the guy who played Omar in The Wire. And then peace and love would rain down on earth and Kobe would never again use the “f” word (Editor’s Note: The other “f” word) to deride an opponent.

Leave a comment

Filed under WORST Things Ever

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s