I’m Officially on a Facebook Hiatus

My time with Facebook may have officially come to an end. Over the years, I have been able to tolerate all of my friends’ photos of the things they made for dinner. Every day I sit there while distant acquaintances try to tell me how great their 5am run went. I’ve made it through the sonogram pictures. Like, you know, pictures of naked humans growing inside people’s stomachs. Someone I went to high school with may or may not have given birth in her bed last week and I got to see pictures of the aftermath. But I’ve finally reached my breaking point.

Tuesday morning I innocently logged into my newsfeed to find that someone had posted this horrible status (I don’t even like posting it here):

I lost the baby this morning 😦

No. No no no no no. Inappropriate. For so many reasons. People, let’s be rational for one second. You have 1,000 friends and there is no way you know all of them well enough that this mass alert is necessary, and while I do feel tremendous sympathy toward anyone going through something so tragic, this is not the time nor the place. And the emoticon? I can’t.

Remember when Facebook was a network of like 10 schools and you only used it to find out who that cute guy was in Survey of Chem? Remember when we could first post pictures and they were all so fun that we got warned that we shouldn’t be showing people how much fun we were having because we wouldn’t be able to get a job? Remember the good old days, Mark Zuckerberg? Look at what you’ve created.

So anyway, I immediately logged out and deleted the FB app on my phone. Yes, I’m curious to see if anyone’s “liked” my Labor Day photos or if I’ve gotten any messages from people I like but have yet to give my personal email to. But I have to draw the line somewhere, and I choose to draw it now. I don’t know how long I’ll last, but hopefully it’s long enough for people to come to their senses. Play your cards a little closer to the vest, America. Some things are still not the world’s business.