Editor’s Note: Hi, guys! Allow me to introduce my friend Audrey Marks. She’s one of the greatest minds this generation has seen, and an avid fan of ABCFamily’s Pretty Little Liars. She has generated this entire post based on years of research, and, as you can see from the photo below, is basically a member of the cast. Enjoy her reflections and make her feel at home.
I got invested in 2011. Right from the beginning I was hooked. I was living in Pittsburgh. I was between jobs. I was looking for something meaningful to fill my time. Naturally I turned to Pretty Little Liars (a show about high school girls who never ask adults for help) to fill the void.
For five seasons and like three years I’ve been devoted to this ABC Family gem (and recruiting people to obsess with me along the way). It’s been a topic on the blog and countless gchats between Kelly Carroll and I. And now, I share my insights with you, dear reader.
I can’t even begin to try and recap where we are in the story line. I’m not sure if I can. But, you can get some really great past recaps from Vulture. (Be sure to get the season 3 recap from Grantland’s Rembert Browne. He gets it.)
For those caught up, (warning spoilers ahead, probably) welcome to watching TV with me. A heads up: I ask a million questions. And every scene ends with one of two responses:
- “Where are everyone’s parents?”
- “Mistakes were made.”
Despite the short amount of time between seasons I get really confused about who is alive, if I should care about a character and really what is going on. So, season five. We’re only two episodes in and I have the gots to knows. Some lingering questions, interjected with some observations. Reporter’s notebook dump style:
Shana & Jenna
When Shana’s character was introduced it was so flimsy and it was right after Nate “I’m Maya’s cousin” is out of the picture. Seriously, these people do nothing to move the bigger story forward. So I tend to ignore then. Then Shana is dead? So here is the thing. I’m not convinced she is. Also, Aria’s poor fragile psyche can’t take that guilt. So jump back: Fitzgerald theatre. Spencer calls the cops and says there has been an accident. Detective Holbrook calls the police in NYC and says yo something is up with the theatre. I know everyone is busy, but if there was a body when NYC’s finest appeared, wouldn’t the liars be like suspects No. 1-5? Wouldn’t they ring back Holbrook? So then the obvious statements: I don’t think Shana is A. I also am not convinced Shana is dead. Also, I don’t like that they spell her name Shana instead of Shawna. Lingering question: Where is Jenna?
Melissa Hastings & her family
I think it’s weird Toby went to find Melissa in London. Also, where is he getting this disposable income? Alas, Melissa is home. What is up with the relationship with her dad? It’s like he knows she’s a bad seed. (Side note: do you think the Hastings’s stay up at night wondering what they did so wrong? They gave those girls everything! ) Ever her mom is on to her. Also, Veronica Hastings money quote: “Call Wren? Please. I’d rather stick a knife in a toaster.” Bottom line: I want to know what Melissa knows.
I really want someone to call the ASPCA to pick up Pepe. Neither Ali nor any of the liars are fit to take care of another living thing right now.
Mr. DeLaurentis seems like a normal dude. Except, I feel like it’s a red herring. So for a long time I thought Mrs. D was covering for Jason for smashing Ali’s head. But now I’m wondering if it’s Mr. D. That family seems capable of anything. Also, from my live texts of watching: “Also, Jason. #TotalCreep. #NotNormal.”
I am not feeling Aria’s denim vest from the last episode. Speaking of Aria, the whole PTSD induced by classical music is played out. #BradleyWhitfordDidItBetter
Spencer needs to take Toby to get his hair cut ASAP. However, it is not as bad as juvie Toby with a wearing a do rag #ThugLife #NeverForget.
As UN-sane as Mona is, (and I can’t even get into her entanglement with Magic Mike Montgomery) that navy dress was perfect.
Why didn’t Spencer tell Toby the truth? Didn’t they do like a “no more secrets” pact? Is the withholding retribution for his bad hair?
Was Melissa ever in London? Did she take Wren as an alibi? If she never went, where was she? Also, related: Ian’s dead, right? Ali said she killed him at the end of last season? Did I make that up?
Questions? Comments? Concerns? I’m dying for your input (and the opportunity to talk about this more). You can get at me on Twitter. I sometimes tweet my musings on the show in real time and post photos of my dog.