Today is a day of great rejoicing. Not only am I back but we just rolled over 100 episodes of Pretty Little Liars. For inquiring minds: Doctor cleared me Monday, short version of the story: I was in a car accident. I hit my brain off my skull. It did not impair my cognitive function.
See? Look at that artwork. I take this seriously.
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So Audrey Marks is still concussed, but she promises she’ll begin recapping this damn show next week. In the interim, I’m going to attempt to tell you what happened last night on Pretty Little Liars, but I have to warn you, I went to a bar after work to watch the second half of the US v. Belgium match. It was 90 degrees in the place, I only had yogurt for lunch, and I had a glass of wine. By the end of the game I had no idea where I was (heat poisoning is real). My only reference points for last nights PLL episode are mine and Audrey’s incoherent text messages. So bear with me.
Last night’s show opened with Hanna’s new hair (same blonde, new black streaks) and Aria’s bowler hat/jumper combo. Bad looks were had by all. Also, Spencer is, for reasons unbeknownst to us all, wearing a terrible wig. None of this moves the plot forward. I just felt like it needed to be pointed out.
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Thank you, Audrey. This was helpful.
So when we left off last week, Aria was having some serious PTSD from (maybe) killing Shawna, who is (maybe, but probably not actually) A. Spencer is casually having sex with Toby in her bed in her parents’ house with the door open. Ali is visiting her OWN grave. Mona is rocking a killer navy blue sweater dress. And Emily and Hanna are following Jason DiLaurentis around town like it’s totally normal for two girls in leather pants to be standing on street corners in the dark. Mona threatens Ali and makes it pretty clear that we’ve started World War A now that Ali’s back in Rosewood. Oh, and Pepe finds Mrs. DiLaurentis’ hand in the backyard BECAUSE SHE’S DEAD. Totally normal.
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