I Missed Dancing with the Stars and I’m Upset About It

So this is what I was doing last night instead of blogging about Dancing with the Stars. My apologies. However, I did wake up early to watch all the dances from last night’s episode so that I could give you something. I’m here to serve.

Basically, what happened last night was that between the waltz and the instant jive, J.R. proved his pudding and got straight 10s for everything he did: breathing, walking, talking, etc. He has great charisma and he’s a great dancer and I just love him so much. Was he perfect last night? I don’t know. But he definitely deserved high scores. It’s J.R.’s world and the rest of us are just living in it. I’m told Hope came out of her shell, but I still don’t like her so I’m not giving her any credit. Ricki and Rob were great, and Nancy was, eh.

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The Greatest School Photo Ever Taken

When I was in second grade, the photo company that was coming to our school for picture day gave us the option of choosing what pull-down background we would like to have. The choices were as follows: lasers in either green, white, pink or blue, trees, regular blue felt (which probably cost less), Christmas scene and library bookshelves. Obviously, I wanted the library bookshelves, because I was a very classy second grader and probably was planning on wearing a monocle for the photo. My mom wanted the lasers, because it was 1992 and she knew what all the cool kids were going to pick, and was definitely trying to save me from a bully.

You’d think since she was going to pay for these photos she would have won the day here, but I called an audible and told the photographer it was going to be the library background for this girl. And I was the only one who used that background that day. In the whole school. And it ended up being the greatest school photo ever taken. Until now.

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Another Reason Why Rob Delaney is my Hero

Photo courtesy of nymag.com

You didn’t think we’d just let this Kardashian divorce go by without saying something, did you? Yeah, you’re right. We probably would have. Because I’m just fed up with society in general, and taking the time out of my busy day to rant about KDash leaving the Hump would also lead to a rant about Occupy Wall Street, and then a rant about the GOP debates, and guys I just can’t rant about everything, all the time. I wake up at 5:30am. I’m exhausted.

Anyway, anything I wanted to say on the topic was eloquently tied up in a nice little bow yesterday when my mentor/man I’ve never met Rob Delaney decided to sue Kim Kardashian, Ryan Seacrest, E! (exclamation point included to avoid any legal holes) and Comcast for this mockery of marriage vows. And I applaud him. As quoted by The Village Voice this morning:

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