In an effort to pressure me into giving her grandchildren (being single doesn’t matter; Jeanie Carroll thinks I can pull a Bristol Palin), my mother kidnapped my 8-year-old cousin last week and officially made him her own. This is a woman who usually calls me if I don’t check in every three hours, but did I hear from her at all? Not once. And when I finally did call her to see if there was room for me out at the beach house this weekend, what was her response? “I don’t know. Brett and I have to go to a seal release on Saturday.” I couldn’t even get her to play one round of Chutes and Ladders with me when I was little.
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