Category Archives: It's All Going In The Book

Sometimes Emergency Phone Calls are Actually about the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Everyone in my family knows not to call me. I rarely pick up the phone, and I never listen to voicemails. In fact, my voicemail box is currently full. Text messages and emails are definitely the best way to reach me. Unless it’s an emergency. And everyone knows that emergencies only occur late at night and early in the morning.

So when I got out of the shower this morning and saw that I had a missed call and voicemail from my parents’ house, I immediately feared the worst. “Please don’t let it be another death,” I thought to myself, because God knows we’ve had enough of those in the past few years. “Mom’s stomach was upset last night,” I worried. “She might be in the hospital.” Or, “maybe Dad actually went into some kind of Cheez-It induced coma.” Whyyyyyyyy were they calling me so early? It doesn’t help that Blackberries notify you in 18 different ways that you have a missed call. It’s very alarming. I gathered all my strength and dialed them back. Mom answered and immediately started talking:

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Filed under It's All Going In The Book, The Crazy People I Call My Own, The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related

It’s All About Pippa

When Pippa Middleton stepped out of her chauffeured car on the morning of the Royal Wedding a few weeks back, both my mom and I gasped at how beautiful Kate’s younger sister looked in her bridesmaid’s dress. “That’s it.” I said. “She just stole the show.” While Jeanie tried to argue that nothing could take the day away from Kate and her Alexander McQueen dress, people were creating Facebook pages dedicated to Pippa’s ass. So I think I was right.

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Filed under BEST Things Ever, It's All Going In The Book

Why You All Up in My Grill? You Don’t Even Know What’s Cookin’

Over the weekend I decided it was time for me to become domesticated and I mustered up everything that was inside of me, found a recipe online, went to the grocery store and actually cooked, all by myself. Our little girl is growing up.

I know I keep harping on the fact that Chipotle gave me food poisoning and I can no longer eat there, but with that option completely gone there is very little I can do by way of nourishment. So before it got all “survival of the fittest” in my apartment, eventually killing me off for a species of person that can actually fend for itself, I decided it was high time I learned a new skill.

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Filed under About Me, It's All Going In The Book