As has become apparent I’m sure over the past few months, I was/am obsessed with the royal wedding, in particular the rising star of one Pippa Middleton. So much so that, moments after the world’s most famous sibling entered Westminster Abbey, I was proclaiming that I would be the Pippa Middleton of not one, not two, but all of the weddings I have to attend in the next year or so. Meaning, I was going to upstage everyone, be the best dressed, etc. Oh, wishful thinking.
My first attempt came at the Memorial Day nuptials of my cousin RJ. To say I crashed and burned would be an understatement. But instead of being upset or going on the defensive, I’m owning it, and because of that, I’m going to give all of you the definitive guide on what not to do at a wedding, family function, or really anytime you’re in public. This is How Not to be the Pippa Middleton of a Wedding. You’ll thank me later.
When Pippa Middleton stepped out of her chauffeured car on the morning of the Royal Wedding a few weeks back, both my mom and I gasped at how beautiful Kate’s younger sister looked in her bridesmaid’s dress. “That’s it.” I said. “She just stole the show.” While Jeanie tried to argue that nothing could take the day away from Kate and her Alexander McQueen dress, people were creating Facebook pages dedicated to Pippa’s ass. So I think I was right.
Official word from Buckingham Palace (or its website, tomato/tomahto) is that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, also known as Prince and Princess William of Wales, also known as William and Kate, will be visiting the United States this July. Biggest. News. Ever.
The couple, who’ve had a July visit to Canada planned for some time, will be headed to California shortly after for a whole two days. This will be William’s first official visit to the States, while it will be Kate’s first visit ever.
Some notes: While I’m over the moon about the fact that the royal couple and I will be in the same country, I’m upset that they’ve chosen the Left Coast. Does Kate Middleton’s first impression of the United States have to be California? Let’s hope for Napa, San Francisco or Carmel and not LA. And let’s be honest. The people in LA are probably more interested to see if Pippa will be tagging along or not.