Category Archives: WORST Things Ever

Ok Egypt, Now I’m Pissed Off

CNN reporter Lara Logan in Iraq

For the past few weeks, I’ll admit that I’ve been sitting idly by while the world to the west of me was going crazy. I mean, Cairo is far away and there’s been a lot of really good college basketball to watch.

My first reaction to the protests in Egypt was a fleeting “oh that’s scary,” to “oh that’s really scary,” to “why are they messing with Anderson Cooper,” to “I think Mubarak is somewhere in America,” mostly because I love a conspiracy theory. But when I woke up this morning and read that CBS reporter Lara Logan had been beaten and sexually assaulted while trying to do her job last week, the situation suddenly got very real for me. And now I’m pissed.

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Things I Just Can’t Wrap My Head Around

It’s Tuesday night. I’m innocently watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills finale episode for the 157th time. I’m making dinner in my toaster oven and drinking Crystal Light iced tea, minding my own business, when I’m bombarded by a commercial for the Christian dating site, ChristianMingle.com.

Now, I’m not a hater by any means. I’ve tried online dating, my friends have tried online dating, my cousin just married the man of her dreams after meeting him online. But this is what I take issue with – the site’s slogan: “Find God’s Match for You.” Um, no.

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So, What if the Groundhog Can’t Even Get Out of His Hole Tomorrow?

Tomorrow, as all of you mighty well know, is Groundhog’s Day, and I’m a sucker for any holiday that has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Every February 2, you can find me checking every online newspaper from here to Timbuktu to see if that little sucker saw his shadow or not. And of course, I live and die by what said groundhog does.

However, it’s been snowing in the Northeast for approximately 157 years, and this morning I woke up quite concerned that Punxsutawney Phil isn’t even going to be able to leave his little hovel, let alone see/not see his freakin’ shadow. “Don’t worry,” my mom assured me when I inevitably called her about it this morning. “They’ll dig him out.” Now, as much as my mom tried, this was not reassuring, because I’ve seen Caddyshack, and I know how unpredictable gophers and groundhogs can be. What if P’tawney Phil is all like “Eff you guys, I’m not coming out of here. You can have winter all year-long for all I care…” What then???

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