So, they say karma’s a bitch. Probably not so much because she’s mean, but because she’s so freakin relentless. She’s inescapable, and for anyone who thinks they’re above reproach, you’ll be hit the hardest. Not that I’ve become a devout Buddhist and all, but if you do bad things, you will inevitably have bad things happen to you. And here is where I’d like to begin my story.
I went to Williams-Sonoma this week to buy a shower gift for my cousin Fallon. If you’ve never been to Boston’s Copley Place mall, it’s where Fancy goes to have lunch with her girlfriends Entitled and Oblivious. I worked at the J.Crew there for 6 months while I was in grad school, and I once had a woman literally throw thousands of dollars worth of clothing over her shoulder at me as she rattled off that she could be shopping at Barney’s. So these are the kind of people we’re dealing with. Just painting a picture.
Hipsters Patrick and Brian. It's Patrick's birthday, and to celebrate Brian wore the American flag. Obvi.
Last weekend was magical. I headed to Brooklyn by way of the Lower East Side to celebrate the impending nuptials of one Miss Katie Poff. We ate barbecue, we went shopping, we laid out by the pool, we even watched some episodes of Laguna Beach on DVD.
After watching the sun set over the East River and behind the skyline of Manhattan we did some shots of Goldschlager and headed out to the bars. It was at this exact moment that I was almost rundown by a violent hipster bike-rider who was angry that I had so brazenly taken my stroll into the bike lanes of the unreasonably wide Williamsburg roadways. “Bikers’ rights!” he yelled as he whizzed past me, ringing a bell situated on top of his handlebars. “I’m pretty sure I’m allowed to exist anywhere!” I screamed, adjusting the bachelorette masquerade mask on top of my head and refusing to move. My indignation then led me to actually run into a swerving hipster who just so happened to get caught up in the fracas. “That was dick of me, I’m sorry,” I told her. She just shook her head. Let the hipster hating begin.