Tag Archives: Fighting without Shame

Moving Back in with my Parents Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

Don't worry about us. We'll just freeze out here.

Way back when, I was a mere 5-years old, and I used to attend something at my elementary school called “Extended Day.” For a few hours after the school day was over, a student could go to Extended Day to play, do homework, and wait for their working parents to pick them up. However, even an extended day wasn’t enough for my parents, who were constantly late getting me. It frustrated everyone, and before you start making excuses for them, sit tight. I’m painting a picture.

So one particular time, the Extended Day lady had decided she was fed up with my parents being late, and, because she had a second job that she had to be at at 5 p.m. (I know, dumb scheduling, lady) she flat left me at the school, locking me into the building with a carpenter who was there installing new windows. And we all know that carpenters in elementary schools are just masks for child molesters and kidnappers, so basically my life was in jeopardy. And when my mom flipped out and got the Extended Day lady fired, I was forever traumatized by the whole experience, meaning I get the sweats anytime it appears I’m going to be late for something. Also, I feel funny around carpenters.

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Filed under About Me, The Crazy People I Call My Own, The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related, WORST Things Ever

London Calling

With the situation in London getting scarier and crazier, I can’t help but think that not even 5 months ago the UK was united in the celebration of the royal wedding. I’ve been re-watching parts of the royal wedding on my DVR every morning this week (it’s something I’m doing; it’s weird, I’m aware), and the contrast between the smiling, cheerful faces in the crowds surrounding Westminster Abbey and Buckingham Palace and the pictures of masked men in track suits setting fire to neighborhoods on the outskirts of London is eerie. It’s amazing how quickly things can change.

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What if Jed Bartlet Was President?

I think my generation will agree with me when I say that the greatest president this country has had in the past 30 years has been Jed Bartlet. Fictional or not, the man led the country with valor and unrelenting patriotism, even when he was shot, or his daughter was given ecstasy and then kidnapped.

With all these shenanigans going on surrounding the debt issue, and with President Obama breaking into our primetime television to appeal to the nation, I can’t help but thinking that President Bartlet would not be standing for this nonsense. Of course, he’d let Josh and Sam duke it out over policy and the foundations of government. And Donna would get all nervous that Josh was going to finally quit and start some kind of third-party campaign. And Rizzo would be there. And CJ would try to mislead the press in some way in an attempt to stall so that the president could make the right decision before the hour was up. But there would be leadership gosh darnit!

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Filed under TV FANatic, WORST Things Ever