Tag Archives: Humor

Breaking: Chipotle and I are Headed for Divorce

Photo courtesy of chipotle.com

I know. You all thought it was a match made in heaven four years back when I was first introduced to Chipotle by Audrey Marks and Phil Mattingly during an outing in Washington, DC. I did too. I thought we were going to be together forever. Me, with my voracious appetite for junk food, and Chipotle, with its more-than-enough-for-one-person burritos and chips. But alas, the past two weeks have really tested our relationship, and the bond just wasn’t as strong as I had once thought it to be.

Two weeks ago I hopped off the T in Cleveland Circle and headed into Chipotle for my Thursday night burrito, which has become a ritual over the past few months since on Thursdays I need to eat dinner quickly and then head over to j-o-b number two at the YMCA. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, and hey, since it’s good to be alive I had them throw in a bag of chips. I ate the burrito, changed into my bball attire and left, feeling good and secure about our relationship.

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The Things My Dad Emails to Me

Check out the caption. This is apparently the funniest thing my father has seen all day.

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The Incredible Snoring Kingston

A big thank you to my cousin RJ for letting me crash at his apartment for the Big East tournament this week. Darge – you’re the best!

With that said, RJ has a 3-year-old bulldog named Kingston, who I absolutely 100 percent adore, but who can snore like a mother-effer. Every night around midnight, Kingston mysteriously finds his squeaky chew toy, which he hasn’t noticed at all during the rest of the day. Monday night, King carried that thing around for about an hour before he finally settled down. At some point during the night I rolled over on it in the aerobed. At another point in the night, Kingston jumped off the couch and onto my head. And then I woke up in the morning to the ruckus you hear above.

But look at his face! I can’t be mad!! I also liked when he thought my hair straightener was attacking me while I was packing and came flying out of nowhere to protect me from what I’m assuming he saw as a cord/choking hazard.

Can someone please buy me a puppy? They’re too freakin’ cute.

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