Tag Archives: Humor

Lil Wayne’s Thoughts on Tennis, From Jail

Remember that episode of The Office where they find out that one of the employees from the newly-merged Stamford branch is an ex-con? And Michael get’s all offended because he thinks the employee is making jail sound better than Dunder-Mifflin? So he creates “Prison Mike” to let them know that prison is nothing but dropping the soap and eating gruel? Well, “Prison Mike” was wrong, because Lil Wayne is making jail seem like the life I want to have.

When Weezy isn’t making new music (which I can’t even do from my apartment, go figure), he’s apparently blogging about everything that is sport. So Sports Illustrated decided to send him some sheets of their letterhead and asked him to write about the U.S. Open. “The U.S. Open, 100 words, go!” And trust me, giving things to people in jail is not easy. I tried to give my business card to a murderer once and they had to test it for a day to make sure it wasn’t laced with drugs. This is a completely true story.

Wayne “simply adores” Maria Sharapova, but is giving the edge to Kim Clijsters on the women’s side. And obviously, he’s backing Rafa for the men. It’s things like this that make it good to wake up in the morning. Respectfully, Kelly.

Read Lil Wayne’s entire letter here.

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Filed under BEST Things Ever, Other People's Stuff, Wide World Of Sports

Providence’s Chris Young Trying to Become the New Basil Marceaux

I really can’t be bothered with the politics going on in Boston, let alone all the way down in Providence, but for the past few days, one of the city’s mayoral candidates has been throwing around all kinds of crazy.

I’m sure this is not the first time Chris Young has shown the world his inner psychotic, but this week alone he has sang along with a tape recorder on television and proposed to his girlfriend/campaign manager during the closing remarks of the mayoral debate. This guy is on a roll.

From what I’ve read though, Young told reporters that he and Kara Russo (who’s also running for Lieutenant Governor and a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives) will only get married if he wins the election. You’ve got a good one there, Russo. Reports also speculate that Young has been calling Russo his fiancee for at least a month. I smell a publicity stunt.

I can’t wait to see how this plays out.

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Filed under WORST Things Ever

Billboard Owners Replace Jennifer Aniston with Evil Egg McMuffin

Talk about your mixed signals.

So I was finally getting used to seeing this on the walk from my office to the gym everyday – and actually found it to be pretty motivating – only to pass by the billboard today and see the lovely McDonald’s ad to your right staring back at me.

What the eff, McDonald’s? If you keep hitting me with this (not so) subliminal advertising, I’m going to start to think that Egg McMuffins are good for me. Next thing you know I’ll be 300 lbs. and yelling for someone to order me a McRib. This is a travesty!

Side Story: my soon-to-be-8-year-old cousin/godson (who I’m assuming reads this blog?) made his mom buy me a bottle of Smartwater to further my quest in getting Jennifer Aniston’s body. This led me to two conclusions: 1) Children read my blog and I should maybe try to make it a little more thought-provoking and educational (yeah, good luck with that). 2) I have not yet reached Aniston-status in the mind of said 8-year old. Gotta get to the gym!

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Filed under Around Town, WORST Things Ever