Tag Archives: Reality Television

So Rob Kardashian has decided to tell people that one of his married co-stars is sleeping with their married professional dance partner. But don’t worry guys, he later took to his Twitter account to tell people he was only kidding! Because ruining two marriages is hilarious, Robert! Such a jokester.

I wonder what dances we have tonight, because everyone’s outfits are slutty. Tonight’s the night that the celebrities have to tell a personal story, which always ranges from, “one time I fell off my bike,” to the death of someone’s fiance. What I’m saying is, it’s going to be emotional. To the most memorable years of their lives!

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So Ron Artest is gone, which means I can finally unclench my butt cheeks. Seriously. He scared me like no other. He was involved in that Detroit Pistons/Indianapolis Pacers brawl right? Yeah, this is what I’m saying. It looks like we’re doing the Quickstep and Jive tonight, which is super fun because these are my two favorite dances. They’re fast and furious – no wonder the opening package showed everyone passing out. I’m excited!

Hope Solo, Jive: Hope is playing soccer and dancing, and I just think this is ludicrous. She’s having a tough time kicking correctly, because all she wants to do is kick a ball. You guyyyyysss! Maks and Hope are dressed up like soccer players. Well, something like that. And they’re kind of all over the place. Maybe it’s because her sneakers are high heels! It just kind of looks like she’s jumping all over the place. It was silly. And I didn’t love it.

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And we’re back! I’m so excited about this season of DWTS I can barely contain myself. K. Cav will definitely be bitching people out, David Arquette is a loose canon, and Chaz Bono had to become a man to find his fair share of sequins, when God knows he could have just looked in his mother’s closet. And Derek Hough is back! Things could not be better!

Ugh. Except that Brooke is still around, but with a new last name. I hope this makes her more endearing to me. The competitors are coming down the stairs. Nancy Grace is wearing a blazer, which can only mean there’s a snazzy dress underneath! Ron Artest (excuse me, Metta World Peace) is the scariest of all scary. And there’s a new ballroom! Steeper stairs! I wonder if George Clooney is watching?

Ok, Jeanie’s crying. She missed these guys so much. Let’s get this recap going!

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