Tag Archives: States of Emergency

by | November 23, 2010 · 11:31 pm

Save Sacred Heart School, Highland Falls, NY

I received some pretty upsetting news tonight – that after 80 years of top-notch education, service and community, Sacred Heart School in Highland Falls, NY (my elementary school) may have to shut its doors in June.

Sacred Heart has not been immune to the dwindling enrollments in Catholic schools over the past few decades and was once almost shut under Cardinal O’Connor in the mid-90s. But this time around seems worse, people say, as the NY archdiocese is prepared to cut its ties with the school at the end of the school year. Officials at Sacred Heart have been asked to prepare a contingency plan, but according to sources, enrollment would need to double for Sacred Heart to remain open. Basically, we need a miracle.

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Filed under Do Something For Humanity For Crying Out Loud, The Crazy People I Call My Own, WORST Things Ever

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by | November 17, 2010 · 1:52 pm

Wisconsin Man Upset By Bristol Palin’s Dancing, Reacts Inappropriately

Dane County Sheriff's Office

So, Steven Cowan and I both agree that Bristol Palin should no longer be gracing our television sets every Monday and Tuesday night on Dancing with the Stars. I, however, have not taken my hostility out in such a psychotic/awesome way.

According to The Smoking Gun, “Cowan, 66, allegedly became so enraged by Palin’s success that he actually fired a shotgun round into his television, triggering a 15-hour standoff with Wisconsin cops.” I’m taking a look at his mug shot right now. Should we be surprised by this? I’m just sayin’.

The police report states that while Bristol was performing “Cowan jumped up and swore, saying something to the effect of, ‘The fucking politics.’ Steven was upset that a political figure’s daughter was dancing on this particular show when Steven did not think that she was a good dancer.” TSG reports that Cowan’s wife called police after her husband shot the television. He is said to have been drinking.

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by | November 9, 2010 · 2:42 pm

If Bristol Makes it Through Tonight’s DWTS Elimination, Sarah Palin Will Be Our Next President

Photo courtesy of ABC.com

Isn’t America just one big reality competition anyway?

Yes, I’m projecting that, should Bristol Palin’s unfathomable rise through the TV landscape continue after tonight, her mother, Sarah Palin, will be elected president in 2012. And in case you thought I’d just throw that statement out there with nothing to back it up (which I do on occasion), here are my reasons:

1. Conservative/Christian voters: After 8 weeks of dancing (and countless years watching the show), I’m fairly certain that Bristol’s fanbase is everyone in Alaska (minus maybe Levi Johnston) and all registered Republicans. Should she move through to next week and say, Kurt Warner gets the boot, she will probably pick up the Christian sect, which might just make her unstoppable. Sound like any Tina Fey look-alikes we know? On top of that, I’m sure there’s some people out there that vote for Bristol in the hopes that she’ll fall flat on her face, and some fun can be made at her expense. Again, the same could probably be said for her mother.

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