Tag Archives: States of Emergency

Don’t Worry Guys, I Found the Root of All Our Problems

Before we get going with tonight’s Presidential Debate, I wanted to let everyone know that I found the root of the economic crisis, the unemployment rate, and the obesity epidemic.

Yesterday, while I was innocently sitting in a Chipotle on Broadway and 110th Street (I know, this doesn’t give me a lot of credibility), I spied a full-grown man wearing this Nike t-shirt. Ok, let’s walk it back slowly.

1) Why would anyone admit to being lazy? I can certainly think of a few people this t-shirt would fit perfectly, but I know none of them would own up to the fact that they are squandering their talents. I don’t know the gentlemen who was sporting this garb yesterday, but judging by his dirty hair, headband, mesh basketball shorts, and slippers on the sidewalk, I’d venture to say he wasn’t being ironic. So there are people out there who don’t care if others think they are lazy. Ok. Minus one for America.

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Filed under Wide World Of Sports, WORST Things Ever

I’m Officially on a Facebook Hiatus

My time with Facebook may have officially come to an end. Over the years, I have been able to tolerate all of my friends’ photos of the things they made for dinner. Every day I sit there while distant acquaintances try to tell me how great their 5am run went. I’ve made it through the sonogram pictures. Like, you know, pictures of naked humans growing inside people’s stomachs. Someone I went to high school with may or may not have given birth in her bed last week and I got to see pictures of the aftermath. But I’ve finally reached my breaking point.

Tuesday morning I innocently logged into my newsfeed to find that someone had posted this horrible status (I don’t even like posting it here):

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Filed under WORST Things Ever

This Looks So Good, You Guys

Saw this trailer on Good Morning America yesterday and I got the chills. So did George Snuffleupagus. He said so. Josh Elliot did not, probably because he was too busy thinking about his date with Kelly Bensimon. Wrong Kelly, Josh!

Anyway, Ben Affleck’s new flick deals with the Iranian Hostage Crisis which was resolved in the early 1980s. Apparently, this film focuses on hostages that were able to escape and hide out in the Canadian Embassy. And Ben Affleck has to figure out how to get them out of there before they are discovered. Natch. Whitey Bulger is involved somehow…oh no, that’s not this movie.

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Filed under BEST Things Ever