Tag Archives: The Crazy is Following Me

by | February 8, 2011 · 7:22 am

“If I Had an Office Full of Jeanie Carrolls, It Would Have Been Awful”

But we’re all glad we have one.

It’s been a little over a week since Jeanie Carroll retired from the United States Military Academy at West Point, and I’m still recovering. Also, she’s still calling me every day telling me how bored she is. So bored she joined Facebook. So bored she refuses to do the one hour of silent reading time my dad insists on. Probably because he needs a silent hour to compose AWESOME poems, like the one below, which he read to the 115 people in town to celebrate Mom’s special day. And, for your reading pleasure, here it is again, in full. Also, enjoy the videos. Especially the one where my mom thinks she’s a Pussy Cat Doll. Fact.

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Filed under About Me, Around Town, BEST Things Ever, The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related

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by | February 7, 2011 · 9:00 pm

I’m Just as Human as You, I Just Look Good While Doin’ It

Don’t hate, but for the second time in the past year, my hometown newspaper has singled me out as “Kind of a Big Deal.” Ok, they do this to lots of people, and it’s really just a look back on the news that was going on five, 10, 15 years ago. But I don’t know anyone who’s been mentioned twice. So, obviously, Big Deal status should be bestowed on me today.

I do have to say that at first I was like “oh man, five years ago, I can’t believe it’s been that long.” And then I remembered I’m actually 27, and this whole National Honor Society business was probably 10 years ago. And then I felt old. But then I remembered, I’m famous, and a whole 36 people probably read this article, Google-ed me, found my blog, and then exploded over how famous I’ve actually become.

Shout out to Alli Smith! Why those other NHS officers weren’t mentioned, I have no idea. Suckers.

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by | February 1, 2011 · 1:41 pm

So, What if the Groundhog Can’t Even Get Out of His Hole Tomorrow?

Tomorrow, as all of you mighty well know, is Groundhog’s Day, and I’m a sucker for any holiday that has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Every February 2, you can find me checking every online newspaper from here to Timbuktu to see if that little sucker saw his shadow or not. And of course, I live and die by what said groundhog does.

However, it’s been snowing in the Northeast for approximately 157 years, and this morning I woke up quite concerned that Punxsutawney Phil isn’t even going to be able to leave his little hovel, let alone see/not see his freakin’ shadow. “Don’t worry,” my mom assured me when I inevitably called her about it this morning. “They’ll dig him out.” Now, as much as my mom tried, this was not reassuring, because I’ve seen Caddyshack, and I know how unpredictable gophers and groundhogs can be. What if P’tawney Phil is all like “Eff you guys, I’m not coming out of here. You can have winter all year-long for all I care…” What then???

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