Tag Archives: The Crazy is Following Me

This Guy is Quickly Gaining on Basil Marceaux for a Place in My Heart

I flew JetBlue down to North Carolina this week. The flight attendant that graciously catered to me offered a cold Coca-Cola (the whole can!) and a bag of animal crackers (the lady next to me also offered her Star magazine and told me I smelled better than her sisters, but that really has nothing to do with this story). There was no turbulence, and everyone on the plane obediently followed the pilot’s fasten-your-seatbelts sign.

However, this was NOT the case on a JetBlue flight into JFK yesterday, where flight attendant Steven Slater became so enraged at a passenger that he yelled obscenities into the loudspeaker of the plane, stole two beers, deployed the plane’s emergency blow-up slide, escaped the aircraft by sliding down said slide and went home to his house in Queens, all the while fist-pumping and yelling “suck on that!” Ok, the last part I made up.

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What Would Mandy Moore Do?

I don’t know Mandy Moore, but aside from breaking Vincent Chase’s heart she comes off as the nicest person on the planet. Actually I did meet her once when I was working at the J.Crew in Copley Square, and she was very nice, so there, I do have a reference.

Anyway, sometimes I question my ability to be kind to people. Like, if I see someone in distress and don’t do anything, it’s usually because I want to avoid coming off like a complete crazy person (I try to hide the crazy from strangers). But a certain event happened to me yesterday, and I need some input on how I should have reacted. Let me set the scene:

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Filed under Around Town, WORST Things Ever

Scenes from the Green Line: A Love Story

Musings from my morning commute on the C Line.

As some of you already know, I’m a creepy T-stalker, which basically means I know just about everything that’s going on in the lives of the people I commute with every morning. They think I’m listening to my iPod. I’m actually taking mental note of how crazy they are. It’s weird, I’m well aware.

Anyway, there’s a pair of T-patrons that are more exciting than the rest, and I like to refer to them as Angry Engaged Couple.

If you can’t tell by the name, Angry Engaged Couple came into my purview by fighting over wedding plans. He basically called her controlling and she basically told him he had a small penis (I’m not making this up). She’s a super horrible person and he’s, what’s the phrase, out-punting his coverage? Her diamond is the size of my face, and they’re seemingly miserable. One time she ripped the Metro out of his hands because he wasn’t paying enough attention to her. This happened right in front of me, and she almost smacked me with the paper. I mean, now I’m involved.

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Filed under Around Town, It's All Going In The Book