Tag Archives: Things That May One Day Kill Me

Ladies and Gentlemen, We Have Two More Jumpers

Uncle Dan and Miss Amanda

Just a month before the Turnbull Clan is set to jump out into the abyss over the East End of Long Island, our crew has gotten two members bigger.

Danny Ulrich, husband, friend and father of three beautiful children, along with the lovely Amanda Turnbull, surfer gal and James Madison senior, have jumped (pun intended) on board with this asinine plan, going down (ha, I did it again) July 17.

Honestly, I don’t know what these people are thinking. I know I’m the mastermind of this entire operation, but my stomach flops every time I think about standing at the open door of an airplane and looking out over the Atlantic Ocean. Ugh. There it went again.

But I do want to give a shout out to the peeps at Long Island Skydiving. I think I’ve called them about 723 times in the past month, to discuss sign-ups, safety regs, etc., and every time they humor me. Just wait until I’m strapped to John Tandem screaming my face off thousands of miles above the earth. They’re gonna really like me then.

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Filed under About Me, BEST Things Ever, The Crazy People I Call My Own, The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related

When G-Chat Conversations are a Comment on Real Life

Todd: you my friend are not a fox weasel combo
Todd: you are more like a baby rabbit
me: hey! that’s kind of offensive
I can hold my own
Todd: baby rabbits are cute
me: yeah, but I chopped one up in my lawn mower last fall

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Filed under WORST Things Ever

Clearly, God Does Not Want This Oil Cleaned Up

Photo courtesy of the Korean Federation for Environmental Movement

According to the Washington Post:

“BP has shut down siphoning efforts from its leaking well in the Gulf of Mexico after a ship collecting the oil caught fire, the company says. The fire is believed to have been caused by lightning. BP says the capture operation is expected to resume later Tuesday.”

My prediction is that later today a killer whale and his entire family will attack the ship, rendering it useless and spilling out all of the already-siphoned oil. Just a guess.

Other things destroyed by lightening this week: USA Today

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