Tag Archives: Things That May One Day Kill Me

Sometimes Emergency Phone Calls are Actually about the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Everyone in my family knows not to call me. I rarely pick up the phone, and I never listen to voicemails. In fact, my voicemail box is currently full. Text messages and emails are definitely the best way to reach me. Unless it’s an emergency. And everyone knows that emergencies only occur late at night and early in the morning.

So when I got out of the shower this morning and saw that I had a missed call and voicemail from my parents’ house, I immediately feared the worst. “Please don’t let it be another death,” I thought to myself, because God knows we’ve had enough of those in the past few years. “Mom’s stomach was upset last night,” I worried. “She might be in the hospital.” Or, “maybe Dad actually went into some kind of Cheez-It induced coma.” Whyyyyyyyy were they calling me so early? It doesn’t help that Blackberries notify you in 18 different ways that you have a missed call. It’s very alarming. I gathered all my strength and dialed them back. Mom answered and immediately started talking:

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Filed under It's All Going In The Book, The Crazy People I Call My Own, The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related

London Calling

With the situation in London getting scarier and crazier, I can’t help but think that not even 5 months ago the UK was united in the celebration of the royal wedding. I’ve been re-watching parts of the royal wedding on my DVR every morning this week (it’s something I’m doing; it’s weird, I’m aware), and the contrast between the smiling, cheerful faces in the crowds surrounding Westminster Abbey and Buckingham Palace and the pictures of masked men in track suits setting fire to neighborhoods on the outskirts of London is eerie. It’s amazing how quickly things can change.

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Filed under WORST Things Ever

The Hottest Weekend Ever?

Driving through Connecticut on I-84, July 22, 2011

Ok, so I’m not a meteorologist, but the heat index in my body on Friday was sending out all kinds of wavelengths that I should do nothing but go inside, sit in front of the air conditioner and not move until the sun went down. I couldn’t do that of course, so there were literally parts of the day where you could have basted me a few times and then served me as the main course of whatever creepy meal you were having that night. Gross thought. Ok, we’re passed it. Moving on.

Although not as bad, Saturday’s heat was equally debilitating, and after sitting outside at my cousin’s bridal shower with my dress skirt yanked up around my waist for increased air flow, I got to thinking, is this the hottest it ever was?

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Filed under Around Town, BEST Things Ever, The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related, WORST Things Ever