Category Archives: About Me

by | November 18, 2011 · 9:16 am

Just Clearing Up Some Things From My Friend’s Wedding Website

As people witnessing the modern-day wedding, I’m sure you’ve also noticed that no day of nuptials could be complete without the information hub that is the wedding website. The best page is always the one with brief descriptions of members of the wedding party, and these bios always range from beautifully sentimental to full-on ridiculous.

The latest installment of wedding websites belongs to my college roommate Kelly and her fiancé Jack. And since I’ve been so generously asked to be a part of their big day, there is indeed a bio for one Kelly Carroll. And it is fantastic. However, I feel like the people need to know a little bit more about some of the things mentioned:

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by | November 9, 2011 · 9:49 am

Since We’re On the Topic of School Pictures

I can’t find the now infamous library bookshelves picture. But it will be found, if not for this blog than for the fact that my parents should know where all my school photos are and I’m a little offended that they don’t. Also they should all be framed.

Anyway, I did find three gems for you which I’ve placed above. They are arranged chronologically. They are awesome. Not as awesome as Brett’s. But right up there.

I’m going to break these down one by one, because I feel like they need explaining. Their amazingness can not be fully comprehended just on a glance. So here it goes:

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by | October 24, 2011 · 7:37 pm

Things Could Have Gone Better Today

Today was not a no good, horrible, very bad day, but it definitely could have gone better for a multitude of reasons which are as follows:

1) I woke up to Joe Nolan telling me that all 4, 5, and 6 trains were experiencing significant delays due to a train derailment. Hm. The MTA has successfully cut off the only way I know how to get to work aside from walking and taking a cab. Don’t try to mind eff me MTA!!!

2) I saw a vulture attack a squirrel on my drive to the train station. Like, National Geographic-quality swooping. I think nature may have turned on us.

3) I miraculously found the R train and discovered that it also goes downtown and also has a stop at 28th Street. But, wait…is that blood on the subway titles? Yes. Yes, it is.

4) Leaving work, my elevator car landed on the first floor a little harder than usual, and some robotic voice said “Don’t be alarmed. We are experiencing technical difficulties.” Um, I’m alarmed. I’m sorry. Can’t be helped.

5) I saw my first subway rat. Who’s officially a New Yorker now, bitches??? But seriously. Nature. Turning on us.

6) I had the most crowded subway commute since I moved here (due to ongoing delays on the 4, 5, 6) and no one grabbed my ass. I mean, this is a win, but I couldn’t help but be a little offended.

Oh, Mondays.

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