Category Archives: Holidays

by | October 25, 2010 · 8:20 am

There’s a Whole Lot of Inappropriate Going on in the Halloween Department

I'm uncomfortable.

At the risk of this becoming a blog solely about the crazy-slash-fantastic that goes on in the mecca that is Target, I need to share with you my most recent experience: the Target Halloween costume department. Holy Inappropriateness. I can’t even begin to describe how uncomfortable I was.

First, the adult costumes for 11-year-old girls. Do parents even exist anymore? And what exactly is a Midnight Maven? Why is this child out at midnight anyway? When I was in fifth grade, I was a table for Halloween. A table. My head was a centerpiece. It was the greatest costume ever. My only guess is that this girl is a cross between Elvira and the licorice man from Candy Land, who by day runs an escort service. I’m just sayin’. Also in this section, a “Stitch Witch” (not sure at all what that means), and some kind of British go-go dancer. Come on people.

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by | July 11, 2010 · 6:37 pm

The Remedy is the Experience; the Comedy is that it’s Serious

No matter how old you get, no matter what occasion, there are always lessons to be learned from your family. Below, the Top 10 tips from the past 4th of July. Enjoy!

1. At 13, texting honeys whilst skateboarding is bad news. When you get a little older, it’s texting and driving. Sexting is bad news at any age.

2. My Uncle Ed is “Mediterranean” according to my Aunt Carole, and that’s why he tans. I thought he was from Yonkers, but I guess I was wrong.

3. Priests don’t like it when you skip church. They also do not like when you do yoga on the front lawn of the rectory.

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Filed under About Me, Holidays, It's All Going In The Book, The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related

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by | May 5, 2010 · 8:20 am

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Photo courtesy of yumsugar.

Ok, this is one of my favorite holidays, mostly because my two favorite things in the world are margaritas and chips. But I did a little research this morning, and as it turns out, the origins of Cinco de Mayo as a holiday are not just an excuse to drink and have fun (like they are for the 4th of July and Christmas).

According to Wikipedia, “Cinco de Mayo (Spanish for “fifth of May”) is a voluntarily observed holiday that commemorates the Mexican army’s unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862.” Interesting. What’s even more interesting? Cinco de Mayo is only really celebrated in the Mexican state of Puebla and the United States. WTF? Either we Americans really hate the French, or we’ll really use any excuse to drink and eat chips (seriously, two of my favorite things.)
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