Category Archives: Oh Baby It’s a Wild World

by | June 8, 2011 · 10:57 am

Birth Watch 2011: Natalie Portman and her Teenager for a Baby

So, it’s been quite awhile since we saw Natalie Portman and her very, very pregnant stomach at the Oscars in February. And over a month ago, I had a very long conversation with my friend Audrey about how Miss Natalie can’t possibly be pregnant for very much longer. Well, she still is, and quite frankly, I think people should be a little more concerned about it.

Natalie Portman has been pregnant for about 17 months now, and while I am certainly not a doctor (although I did put my cold symptoms into WebMd today and I most definitely have SARS), even I know this is way too long. She is a tiny girl, and if this baby grows inside her any longer, it may just overtake her body and use it as its own (this is the most accurate description of childbirth I can give you). This could mean a great loss to the film community, since Natalie, as of late, has become the only actress that stars in movies anymore.

So if you see her in the street tell her to get on with it already. If not for her, or her baby, then for the sake of Thor at least.

Update: Natalie Portman has given birth to a baby boy. This blog surely was the catalyst.

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by | May 19, 2011 · 9:49 am

So The World’s Going to End on Saturday

As many of you have been anticipating for the past few months (years, decades, centuries), the world is set to expire on May 21. Which is perfect timing, because my company just announced that’s this is going to be the day summer hours (half-day Fridays) and the summer dress code will kick in. Can I catch a freakin’ break?

So obviously I’m not buying into this bull-oney, but I was thinking about it on my way to work this morning, and I was wondering, if the world were going to end at some point in time, why not now? If we’re just going by recent events (and the things that I consider signs of the apocalypse, like Oprah ending her show, and Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver getting divorced), the world is pretty much braced for its demise at any moment now. Osama bin Laden is dead, it’s been raining everywhere for the past 137,000 days, and LeBron James is about to fulfill his Messiah-like prophecy of winning an NBA championship. I ask you, are these not signs???

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by | May 18, 2011 · 4:03 pm

Weddings Are Stressful For Everybody

Photo courtesy of Reuters

According to Britain’s Daily Mail, an attempted bridal suicide was thwarted this week in China when a young woman was saved seconds before she jumped out a window. Though the 22-year-old was wearing a wedding dress, authorities are still unsure if this scene took place on her actual wedding day, however, they can say the bride’s reasoning behind all this was that her boyfriend broke up with her (so if it was actually her wedding day, the dude’s kind of a dick).

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