Category Archives: WORST Things Ever

Osama bin Laden is Dead

Photo courtesy of the New York Times

I was thinking about calling it a night late Sunday when I received an email alert from the Washington Post on my blackberry: “Breaking News: White House says Obama to make late-night statement Sunday on an undisclosed topic.”

“That’s weird,” I thought to myself. “Who releases news alerts without any information?” I switched over to CNN from the Real Housewives of Orange County (I know, my life is filled with strange dichotomies) to find Wolf Blitzer frantic with anticipation, telling America that the unprecedented late-Sunday announcement was indeed very serious. Because I live by myself in a city 3.5 hours away from anyone who could remotely comfort me in any kind of crisis, I immediately called my parents and texted everyone in my family, telling them to turn on their televisions. It was only a few more minutes of scared speculation (should I get in my car and drive to New York? Do I even know where the Boston bomb shelters are?) before the outlets were reporting the news all of America has been hoping for for a decade: Osama bin Laden is dead.

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Filed under BEST Things Ever, Oh Baby It's a Wild World, WORST Things Ever

Breaking: Chipotle and I are Headed for Divorce

Photo courtesy of chipotle.com

I know. You all thought it was a match made in heaven four years back when I was first introduced to Chipotle by Audrey Marks and Phil Mattingly during an outing in Washington, DC. I did too. I thought we were going to be together forever. Me, with my voracious appetite for junk food, and Chipotle, with its more-than-enough-for-one-person burritos and chips. But alas, the past two weeks have really tested our relationship, and the bond just wasn’t as strong as I had once thought it to be.

Two weeks ago I hopped off the T in Cleveland Circle and headed into Chipotle for my Thursday night burrito, which has become a ritual over the past few months since on Thursdays I need to eat dinner quickly and then head over to j-o-b number two at the YMCA. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, and hey, since it’s good to be alive I had them throw in a bag of chips. I ate the burrito, changed into my bball attire and left, feeling good and secure about our relationship.

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The Things My Dad Emails to Me

Check out the caption. This is apparently the funniest thing my father has seen all day.

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Filed under The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related, WORST Things Ever