Category Archives: WORST Things Ever

Deportation: It Can Happen to You

Or anyone, really.

So I’m a little behind on my news because I moved and I have no internet in my new apartment (Time Warner comes on Tuesday and then I’m going to be killing life people) and work has been crazy and well, that’s it really. But I was recently reading this story about a teenage American girl who was erroneously deported to Mexico in May 2011 and was just let back into the States in January. This may sound extraordinary to some of you – implausible, you may say – but I am here to tell you that the line between unassuming American citizen and being arrested as an illegal alien is very thin. I should know.

Like any plucky and enthusiastic teenager, I made my parents take me to the DMV the day I turned 16 so I could get my learner’s permit. What a day! After years of driving my parents around town illegally I was finally going to have a piece of paper to hand over to the police when they pulled me over. I could not have been more excited.

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Filed under About Me, The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related, WORST Things Ever

You Can Go Home Again, Especially if You Have to

Because I know everyone is at the edge of their seats wondering when I’m going to move out of my parents’ house, how my relationship with my parents is enduring our roommate situation, etc., I wanted to let you all know that, just in time for the holidays, my parents have finally let me move back into my old bedroom. It’s a Christmas miracle!

It only took two sinus infections and the guest room exploding out into the hallway for my parents to realize that the dungeon-like conditions they had subjected me to were unfair and unreasonable. Also, I think they realized their evil plan of getting me to move out in a short amount of time was not working. At. All.

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Filed under About Me, The Crazy People I Call My Own, The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related, WORST Things Ever

20 Reasons I Feared Kim Jong-Il More Than the Taliban: A Love Story

Ok. It's not a love story. I just put that there because it seemed like the title needed a subtitle, and I couldn't think of any. Sorry.

What is that phrase: better the devil you know? Is that it? Over the past few hours I’ve been reading a lot about the former North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il who died today of an apparent heart attack (which seems unbelievable for reasons I will list below), and I’ve come to find that mofo was even crazier than I at first realized. We’ve all read about the “invisible cell phone” he used to coach his country’s recent World Cup team. And we all know he claimed to have invented the hamburger. But according to BuzzFeed’s recent blog post about the man, the crazy goes so, so much deeper than that. And this man had the NUKE CODES, you guys. THE NUKE CODES!

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