Tag Archives: States of Emergency

Things Could Have Gone Better Today

Today was not a no good, horrible, very bad day, but it definitely could have gone better for a multitude of reasons which are as follows:

1) I woke up to Joe Nolan telling me that all 4, 5, and 6 trains were experiencing significant delays due to a train derailment. Hm. The MTA has successfully cut off the only way I know how to get to work aside from walking and taking a cab. Don’t try to mind eff me MTA!!!

2) I saw a vulture attack a squirrel on my drive to the train station. Like, National Geographic-quality swooping. I think nature may have turned on us.

3) I miraculously found the R train and discovered that it also goes downtown and also has a stop at 28th Street. But, wait…is that blood on the subway titles? Yes. Yes, it is.

4) Leaving work, my elevator car landed on the first floor a little harder than usual, and some robotic voice said “Don’t be alarmed. We are experiencing technical difficulties.” Um, I’m alarmed. I’m sorry. Can’t be helped.

5) I saw my first subway rat. Who’s officially a New Yorker now, bitches??? But seriously. Nature. Turning on us.

6) I had the most crowded subway commute since I moved here (due to ongoing delays on the 4, 5, 6) and no one grabbed my ass. I mean, this is a win, but I couldn’t help but be a little offended.

Oh, Mondays.

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Filed under About Me, Around Town, WORST Things Ever

I’m Fairly Certain My Parents are Trying to Sabotage My Living with Them

Just realized there's a hidden message to the right of my arm.

It’s been a whole three weeks (three weeks you guys!) since I moved back in with my parents, and the shenanigans these two are pulling can only lead me to believe that the sooner they get me out of the house the happier they’ll be to go back to their previous life of solitude and Wheel of Fortune.

As only parents can, Jeanie and Den have taken to passive aggressively making it clear that my being home has thrown a wrench into their routine (Note: walking on the treadmill for 60 minutes a day and taking a shower should not constitute as a routine), so I’ve taken it upon myself to list all their antics here. You see this? I’m on to you both.

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Filed under About Me, BEST Things Ever, The Crazy People I Call My Own, The Funny Thing About Family Is That You'll Always Be Related, WORST Things Ever

This Whole Big East/ACC Business Has Got Me All Upset

I'm just fed up, Jim.

Approximately 7 wonderful years ago, I was a junior at Boston College. I was working, as most of you know, as a manager for the men’s basketball team, and the school and athletic department had just recently cut a deal to move from their ingrained spot in the Big East to the every-shade-of-blue ACC.

Well, there were some people who didn’t take this news well. And by some people, I mean UConn basketball coach Jim Calhoun. So while BC did their farewell tour of the Big East Conference schools in the winter of 2004-2005, Jim Calhoun continued to spew venom our way. And I’m pretty sure he vowed he would never, ever, play us again. Ever.

Well that’s going to be pretty tough when your campaign to join the ACC ends up being successful, isn’t it Jimmy?

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Filed under College Basketball Is My First Love, WORST Things Ever